Attack of the Trekkie Trio!
by Romulan Empress
Summary: [finished] The bridge crew listens on a call between three 2004 American teenagers. Will the Enterprise get out of this one alive? My first attempt at humor.
1. The Fateful Phone Conversation

Disclaimer: Math 101: Star Trek + me = no ownership. Nathan, Rachel, and I own ourselves, our computers, our phones, and our dogs. Some names and locations are changed. I am making no profit off this.  
  
The Enterprise had once again gone through some bizarre time-travel phenomena, this time landing them on April 18, 2004. The bridge crew agreed not to beam down to the surface and cause more problems. However, that made for one very big problem- they were all extremely bored.  
  
"Jim, let us do something besides sit here and watch Earth spin," Bones complained.  
  
"And what do you suggest we do? Listen in on someone's phone conversation?" Kirk asked sarcastically. Unfortunately for him, Bones did not take it as sarcasm.  
  
"Sounds fun!" the doctor said, looking slightly perkier. "Spock, can you tap in to some random person's phone conversation?"  
  
"I can, Doctor, but that would be like interfering and breaking the Prime Directive because it is interfering with the way of life these twenty-first century humans-"  
  
"Spock, shut up and do it," Kirk groaned. "It will be better than Bones' griping anyway."  
  
"Yes, Captain," Spock said. "I am picking up a signal from a house in the American state of North Carolina. On screen." A moment later, the face of a blonde teenager appeared. She was seated at a laptop and was holding a blue phone up to her ear.  
  
"Attractive girl," Kirk commented. Bones groaned. A moment later the screen split in two and a black-haired woman appeared with a considerably plainer phone held up to her ear.  
  
"Hello?" she said, in the standard greeting Americans had been using for centuries.  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Black. I was wondering if Nathan is there?" the blonde girl said.  
  
"Just a minute, Stephanie," Mrs. Black replied. She went into a boy's bedroom and gave the phone to that boy, who was also seated at a computer.  
  
"Hello Stephanie," Nathan said without asking who it was.  
  
"Hang on two seconds- let me get Rachel on the line," Stephanie told him.  
  
"Noooooooo!" Nathan said jokingly, but he allowed the girl to call Rachel. A moment later the screen split into three parts to reveal a brunette girl, who, unsurprisingly, was seated at a computer.  
  
"Is surfing the internet all teenagers do?" Bones said loudly.  
  
"I seem to remember you often put aside your homework at the academy to do frivolous computer activities," Spock commented with a raised eyebrow. McCoy wisely chose not to respond.  
  
"Hi!" Rachel said, a cheerful variation on the monotonous "hello."  
  
"Hi," Stephanie and Nathan responded.  
  
"Whatcha doing?" Rachel asked.  
  
"FFN, though I should typing that evil literature paper," Stephanie said at once.  
  
"FII forums," Nathan said. Apparently those were the standard responses, for Rachel looked as though she already knew them.  
  
"And of course, you are on kimpossible.com," Stephanie laughed.  
  
"How did you ever guess?" Rachel cried in mock shock.  
  
"I am psychic?" Stephanie suggested. All three teenagers laughed.  
  
"I hate inside jokes when I am not inside," Bones kept up his usual commentary.  
  
"That is my role!" Rachel said "I sense that you will someday marry Nathan..." she said in a pretend mysterious voice.  
  
"In your dreams, kiddo!" Nathan said. Overlapping him, Stephanie said, "No way! Every sane being knows I am going to marry Spock!" There was momentary panic on the bridge while all the crewmembers turned to look at Spock, whose only response was the typical raised eyebrow.  
  
"Don't get her started on Spock again!" Nathan moaned.  
  
"It has got to be a different Spock," Kirk reassured his best friend. "Everyone knows that all blondes like me. It is equivalent to Scotty's laws of physics!"  
  
"You mean Spock, son of Sarek, son of Skon, son of Solkar, the half human, half Vulcan Starfleet officer with the serial number S179-276SP?" Stephanie asked teasingly.  
  
"Damn, she is talking about you," Kirk said. "She was too young for me anyway."  
  
"She. Memorized. Your. Serial number!!!!?????" Bones screeched.  
  
"That would appear to be the most logical conclusion," Spock said calmly. "But I am wondering- how do these children know of me and Starfleet?"  
  
"Ummmm..." was the response of the bridge crew.  
  
"You got her started," Nathan muttered.  
  
"He was born in Shi'Kahr, Vulcan, in 2230," Stephanie calmly recited. He is the son of Vulcan ambassador Sarek and human schoolteacher Amanda Grayson. He has one half-brother Sybok..."  
  
"You do?" Kirk asked.  
  
"Yes," Spock said. "The son of my father and his first wife, a Vulcan princess," he and Stephanie recited together.  
  
"Think of me, think of me fondly after we've said gooooood byeeeeeeeee!" Nathan sang.  
  
"Alright, I will shut up, just quit sing Phantom of the Opera!" Stephanie screeched.  
  
"He is a first soprano?" Kirk said wonderingly.  
  
"That would appear to be accurate," Spock said as he watched Nathan twirl in his swivel chair.  
  
"Bad word you," Stephanie said just loud enough for all to hear.  
  
"Why doesn't she just say 'damn' or something?" Bones asked.  
  
"Why don't you just say... something?" Rachel asked. She seemed to have some remarkable similarities to McCoy. "You do often enough on MSN Messenger with me."  
  
"That is with you, Rachel. I would not want to damage the ears of cute, wittle, itty-bitty first-grade Na-"  
  
"You should never have shown her my first grade yearbook, Rachel," Nathan said.  
  
"Another inside joke?" Kirk asked.  
  
"I sincerely hope so," Bones responded.  
  
"What!? You were very cute in first grade!" Stephanie protested.  
  
"And he isn't now?" Rachel teased.  
  
"Shut up. Though you, that one picture you have hanging on your wall by the kitchen-"  
  
"Stephanie..." Nathan said.  
  
"And that one you sent me on the computer..."  
  
"That one was only taken a few months ago!"  
  
"Does that matter to the cuteness factor?"  
  
"You are way too bold, Stephanie," Rachel laughed.  
  
"Oh fine!" she snapped. "I will return to staring at this picture of Spock" (she indicated a photo of the Enterprise bridge crew taped to her desk) "and long for the day when we shall meet. Oh Spock, would that we could be together on this moonlight night..."  
  
"You got her started again," Nathan said.  
  
"I did!? You were the one who was arguing about male cuteness-"Rachel and Nathan bickered while Stephanie when on and on about romance.  
  
"You bored yet?" Bones asked.  
  
"Do not stop it!" Uhura cried. "What a touching scene she is reciting!"  
  
"I have an idea!" Kirk announced. "How about we beam them up and discuss this weirdness with them!"  
  
"Oh no..." Bones muttered as Spock began giving coordinates to Scotty. The entire bridge crew did not know if they would ever come alive out of this experience...  
  
R&R please! 


	2. Back to the Future

Disclaimer: I own not the song "One Day More" nor the play "Les Miserables."

Stephanie sat in her room typing the next chapter of What You Have Chosen is at Hand when suddenly she felt the strangest sensation. It was as though she was… dematerializing. Then she saw the sparkling blue lights… and understood that her dream came alive at last.

Nathan was reading a post by Admiral Kinkade when the screen started to get blurry. Blue lights were blocking his vision. In a second, he too understood that what he had forever longed for was in his grasp.

Rachel controlled the futuristic vehicle in the third level of the Kim Possible game when her hand started to lose control of the mouse. She saw little blue sparkles around her hand and then understood.

Kirk, Spock, and McCoy stood in the transporter room and watched the three teenagers materialize on the transporter pad. To their credit, they were a little bit ready for it… at least for twenty-first century humans. That is to say, Stephanie only staggered into Nathan and only staggered into Rachel. She was the only one who fell.

"Hello Captain Kirk!" Nathan said cheerfully. "I am Nathan Black, this is Stephanie Calhoun, and Rachel East. Live long and prosper, Commander Spock, hello Doctor McCoy." He and Stephanie both made the Vulcan hand gesture.

"We have been monitoring your telephone conversation-" Spock began, but he was cut off by McCoy.

"Please tell me not all teenagers spend all their time on computers, frequently use inside jokes, and fall in love with green-blooded computers," he muttered. Stephanie glared at him while Nathan, Kirk, and Rachel laughed. Spock however was looking very thoughtfully at the blonde human.

Changing the subject, Stephanie said, "Just think Nathan! We will be able to actually join Starfleet, go to Vulcan, boldly go where no one has gone before…!"

"What about me?" Rachel asked.

"Um… you do not have to turn in that annoying literature paper Wednesday?" Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Who said anything about staying?" Spock asked.

"Spock…! No! You have already violated the Prime Directive, besides, we knew about you anyways. You cannot send me back- I would rather vaporize myself!" Stephanie cried.

"Are you depressed?" Kirk asked.

"No, you think?" Nathan asked sarcastically. "You are always like, 'Oh, I want to kill myself, I hope Iraq bombs America and kills everyone, there is no point to life-"

"Nathan. Shut up."

"It is true."

"So?"

"Arguing is illogical when we must decide what to do with you children," Spock said. "Captain, I suggest we hold a meeting in the conference room."

"Agreed. We can just transport there." Five seconds later, five humans and one Vulcan were seated at the table.

"Let us stay! You can get back to your time… with us… and no harm done because we will not say anything! Captain, do you not remember Gillian?" Stephanie said.

"Gillian?"

"Must not have happened yet. Shi… skabobs!" Stephanie said. "We will even just repopulate the uni-" Rachel slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Not in front of… everyone!" she hissed.

"What!? I like that joke!"

"Captain."

"Spock?" Kirk responded.

"I believe that these children will be valuable assets to us. I suggest we let them stay. There is certainly more to them than meets the eye."

"You are just saying that because someone actually likes you," Bones said, unable to resist a chance to argue with Spock. Spock raised an eyebrow and Stephanie muttered something about McCoy being Rachel's favorite character, although Bones could not understand why he was being referred to as a "character."

"I think they should stay too," Kirk said. "However, we cannot let the crew know that there are three twenty-first century teenagers running amok on the ship."

"Oh my… Amok Time! Has it happened yet?" Stephanie asked.

"Has Amok Time happened yet? Look at when we are!" Bones said sarcastically.

"No! I mean… Spock… what is the current situation with… um… T'Pring?" Spock and Kirk both gaped at her.

"You know what… happened… on Vulcan?" Kirk asked.

"Yes! Well, what happened on Vulcan was very sad, but at least now…"

"Spock is available," Nathan supplied dryly. Stephanie blushed, but did not deny it.

"Does Stephanie always dominate your conversations?" Spock asked.

"No, Nathan does. But Stephanie is definitely the most formidable presence," Rachel supplied.

"Back to the topic of keeping you three secret, at least for now," Kirk said loudly. "We can obviously not get guest quarters if this is to happen. Therefore…" he trailed off.

"Closets?" asked McCoy with a laugh.

"Rachel has sleepover-phobia," Stephanie said.

"Thank you for telling the entire world," Rachel said.

"You are very welcome."

"Now kiddos, denial is…" Nathan began.

"A very bad thing!" all teenagers recited.

"How are we in denial?" Stephanie asked.

"Because I said so," Nathan replied. Stephanie slapped him lightly on the side of his head.

"Must you three constantly have inside jokes?" Bones asked.

"Lasagna," Stephanie replied, which brought a glare from Rachel and a confused look from everyone else. Bones groaned once more.

"Okay, right," Kirk said. "Each of you will sleep in one of our quarters, on the couches there. Bones: Rachel, Spock: Nathan, myself: Stephanie."

That brought happy looks from Nathan and Rachel and a slightly disappointed look from Stephanie.

"Okay people, I will give the order to warp around the sun, and then we can work out the rest of the necessary orders of business. Dismissed." Kirk said.

"She'll be coming 'round the sun when she comes," Stephanie sang softly. Rachel and Nathan just looked at her.

"Sorry- bad joke… as usual…" she said, slightly annoyed.

Two and one half hours and twenty-six arguments later, Stephanie and Nathan had on Starfleet uniforms, due to the wonderful medical technology, Stephanie and Rachel no longer needed contact lenses, Rachel and Doctor McCoy had already used their combined illogic against Spock, and the Enterprise was back in the twenty-third century.

Currently, the teens, who had begun to refer to themselves as the Trekkie Trio, for what reason the three officers had no idea, were gathered in Spock's quarters. Stephanie was singing an excerpt from "One Day More" and looking at Spock's Vulcan candles, Nathan was browsing the computer databases, and Rachel was annoying Spock with very illogical arguments.

"I never lived until todaaaaaay!" sang Stephanie.

"Oh my ears!" Nathan moaned. "You are so off pitch!"

"So I sing badly. Lasagna to you." She resumed singing, modifying the song slightly. "Now I can live sine you are here! Today you are not worlds awaaaaaay! And with you, my world has started!!!"

"You should never have gone to see Les Miserables."

"I loved it. There was romantic tragedy."

"Stephanie… it is about 2200 hours. You and Rachel probably should go now."

"Fine, be that way!" She stormed out, but stopped briefly to give Nathan a teasing grin, inform Rachel, and bid Spock good night. The doors shut behind the two girls.

"Are you thinking that scene at in the parent trap- with the molasses?" Stephanie said.

"Nathan is going down," Rachel grinned.


	3. Names, Species, and Galactic Powers

Reviewer Replies:  
  
Princess Mimz- I like that song too. Thanks for being my first reviewer!  
  
DATA- It is not a real conversation itself, but I used aspects from real conversations. And it is so not absurd for me to be in love with Spock! LOL  
  
Bookwormqueen- Definitely!  
  
Hallospacegirl- I am glad you liked it and there will be lots of Spock. I write most because, well, I am in love with him!  
  
MySchemingMind- That is so Nathan and I! And unfortunately, this did not happen to me.  
  
Fool of an Elf- Spock is mine! *puts up barbed wire* LOL People always like to make pairings, huh? Weird.  
  
This has been an interesting experiment. When I write humor, I get way more reviews than on anything else. Awesome. Keep R&Ring!  
  
Suddenly, Stephanie remembered something.  
  
"Now that we are actually in the Star Trek universe, I can call Q!" she cried.  
  
"Q? The guy from your book- Q's Guide to the Continuum?" Rachel responded.  
  
"Yes! And he is only the most wonderful omnipotent being in the multiverses besides God!"  
  
"You really think that of me?" a voice said from nowhere.  
  
"Q! Yay! Of course I do! Would I lie?" Stephanie said.  
  
"Yes," Rachel and the voice said simultaneously.  
  
"Well I am not lying right now; I swear on the name of Spock!"  
  
"Okay, you are not lying," Rachel agreed. A moment later there was a bright flash of light and a man in a TNG era Starfleet uniform appeared.  
  
"Why did you want to talk to me? I will grant any favor- I love being people's favorite! You are much better than Jean-Luc."  
  
"I always liked the other captains better myself," Stephanie agreed. "But do you mind turning me half Vulcan, half Romulan and Nathan full Vulcan?" One bright flash of light later, there was a black-haired Romulan/Vulcan in the blonde human's place.  
  
In Spock's quarters, Spock saw a flash of bright light engulf the teenaged boy. After it faded, a Vulcan teenaged boy was in his place.  
  
"Nathan? Something very illogical has just occurred. You are a-"He was cut off by Nathan's call of, "Thanks Q!" for he recognized what had just happened.  
  
Out in the corridor, Stephanie and Rachel were bidding Q good night.  
  
"I will talk to you later; stop by any time!" Stephanie said cheerfully. Rachel, the newer Trekkie, merely waved. A burst of light and Q was gone. Stephanie spun around and re-entered Spock's quarters.  
  
"Stephanie! Q changed you into a Vulcan too?" Nathan asked excitedly.  
  
"Of course not, silly!" Stephanie replied. "I am half Romulan, half Vulcan. But I knew that you wanted to be full Vulcan, so I asked for that for you."  
  
"Romulans? On this ship?" Spock asked, having just come out of his sleeping room.  
  
"Nathan and I just changed our species so now he is full Vulcan and I am half Vulcan, half Romulan," Stephanie replied. Spock reached for his phaser.  
  
"No, I am not evil or against the UFP!" Stephanie said.  
  
"Nathan, did this 'Q' alter your minds during the process at all?"  
  
"No," Nathan said, just as Stephanie said, "I am in a similar position to Saavik and you fell in love with her!"  
  
"Who is Saavik and Vulcans do not 'fall in love,'" Spock said.  
  
"Lasagna. I just ruined the entire plots of The Wrath of Khan, The Search for Spock, and Vulcan's Heart," Stephanie said. "Saavik is not important right now and neither is Zarabeth. Vulcans fall in love during pon farr and ignore those three titles I said."  
  
"Who is Zarabeth?" McCoy's voice came from the door.  
  
"Someone Spock must never meet so he cannot fall in love with her and make me jealous all over again," Stephanie replied.  
  
"Spock falls in love? Wait, is this during pon farr, or can I finally say he has no legitimate excuse?" McCoy asked, looking like Christmas was coming early.  
  
"He has a legitimate excuse, but-"  
  
"Oh drat. Well then, I suppose with all the excitement you all want to stay up too late tonight. Good night all!"  
  
+++++++++++++++the next morning++++++++++++++  
  
"Good morning, Nathan!" a sing-song voice called out. A moment later, something heavy landed on his legs.  
  
"I could not resist! I was going to greet Spock when I decided that I just had to jump on your bed and wake you up!" a hyper Romulan/Vulcan said innocently.  
  
"Why do human-raised teenagers derive pleasure from jumping on sleeping people and waking them up? It is most illogical," Spock said.  
  
"Get off," Nathan said. Stephanie grinned at him and leapt off the bed.  
  
"Sorry Spock. I am not normally a morning person, but I am happy today because I am a Vulcan/Romulan and I am on the starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk, star trekking across the universe!" Stephanie said.  
  
"You do not have to sing Star Trekking right now, do you," Nathan asked.  
  
"Of course I do!" Stephanie laughed. "Come on, you can jump on Rachel this time!" Nathan, not wanting to miss an opportunity to tease Rachel, came with her to Bones' living room. When the entire Trekkie Trio was awake, along with their hosts, they met once more in Spock's room.  
  
"We have to register you all as citizens of the United Federation of Planets," Spock said.  
  
"Can we change our names?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"You may register under whatever name you wish the rest of the galaxy to call you."  
  
"Excellent! Put my name down as T'Son," Nathan said.  
  
"I would like to be Qwi," Rachel said. They all looked to Stephanie.  
  
"Ummm..." she started.  
  
"You have always wanted to be Valeris," T'Son suggested.  
  
"Yes, but... I am I allowed to have dual citizenship?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Spock asked.  
  
"I want to be both a member of the UFP and a member of the Romulan Star Empire," she confessed.  
  
"It would never work," Kirk said, stepping in. "The Romulans are almost xenophobic! They would never allow it."  
  
"Oh, move over," Stephanie said, making her way past Qwi, T'Son, and Spock. "Computer, hail the current praetor of the Romulan Star Empire." A moment later, a Romulan appeared on screen.  
  
"Life to the Empire," Stephanie said by way of greeting. "Praetor, I am half Romulan, half Vulcan. Am I allowed to be a citizen of both the United Federation of Planets and the Romulan Star Empire?" The praetor paused. He had never been asked to make this sort of decision before. Most of her kind were raised in the Federation and stayed there.  
  
"No," he said at last. "Do you wish to become a member of the Empire only though? I can do that." Stephanie took only one look at the five Federation members around her before saying, "Affirmative, Praetor."  
  
"What is your name?" he asked.  
  
"Toreth," she said a Romulan name she had always admired. They finished their business and then she cut the contact and turned to the shocked humans and Vulcans.  
  
"I never would have though you would give up citizenship in the UFP..." T'Son said in wonderment.  
  
"I'm going where my heart will take me!" Toreth sang a line of the Star Trek: Enterprise theme song.  
  
"What about Spock?" Qwi asked.  
  
"Interplanetary marriages of the sort have been done before," she said. "Can I still stay on the Enterprise, Captain Kirk?"  
  
"Captain, I do not advise..." Spock began.  
  
"Please? Nathan and Rachel, I mean T'Son and Qwi, are the only two people who I really know in the time! I do not want to leave them yet!" Toreth pleaded.  
  
"Aside from Spock, who you seem to know more about than he does himself," Bones muttered.  
  
"I already know all your technological secrets anyway and some from one hundred years from now!"  
  
"I suppose," Kirk said.  
  
"Yes! I promise, you will not regret this, Captain! Hey Nath- I mean T'Son, let us go look at Engineering!"  
  
"Okay!" the Vulcan said in a very un-Vulcan-ish manner. The two teenagers raced down the hall, leaving Qwi to wonder why she had ever become friends with them and the three officers to wonder what they had gotten themselves into. 


	4. Randomness and Fun!

Reviewer Replies:  
  
Qwi13: Like I said, I was just trying to make our personalities accurate. I tried to put more of you in here though!  
  
MySchemingMind: This Side of Paradise has already happened. However, I know what you mean! I fear for the Enterprise crew too. I tried to talk to Q today, but he is probably tormenting someone on the other side of the universe and not talking to me. Maybe he will listen to you!  
  
Hallospacegirl: Glad I could help! I also liked Strangers When We Meet, it was really good!  
  
"And they think that I am illogical!" Qwi fumed, watching the two pointy- eared teens run down the hall of the ship.  
  
"You are illogical?" Bones asked with interest.  
  
"And those two never hesitate to point it out!" Qwi said.  
  
"At last, I find a kindred spirit!" Bones laughed. Spock raised an eyebrow at the two of them. "Spock, don't you dare raise that eyebrow at me anymore because it is two on one now," he added dryly.  
  
"I do not understand why humans... enjoy... being illogical," Spock said slowly.  
  
"Are your two friends at all like this green blooded calculator?" Bones moaned.  
  
"Why did you have to use the word 'calculator'?" Qwi asked. "I go down a grade for math and Ste- I mean Toreth goes up a grade. And T'Son and Toreth both never hesitate to rub it in."  
  
"So you see, if you consider this a bit of a war, the odds are against you, for it would be three against two," Spock said.  
  
"Calculating the odds. Like I said- calculator!"  
  
"Definitely!" Qwi agreed with McCoy.  
  
Meanwhile, in a random turbolift, Toreth was trying to various stands of her in place after her run down the corridors. T'Son was watching with some amusement.  
  
"I knew I should have braided my hair!" Toreth muttered. Light flashed and a neat braid was hanging down her back instead of a rather tangled mess.  
  
"Thank you, Q!" Toreth said.  
  
"Just do not do that little thing where you spin around and hit Qwi and me with your braid," T'Son said.  
  
"Well, that depends on whether you annoy me or not," Toreth answered.  
  
"Vulcans should not get annoyed," he said as the turbolift door opened.  
  
"You forget that I am not full Vulcan. I am as Saavik or Soleta are," she responded, for both of them had seen the TOS movies and had read the New Frontier series. "Romulans get annoyed and when we do, Federation members and Klingons normally get hurt."  
  
"But you are not a normal Romulan. Surely you have UFP morals," he said as the turbolift doors opened. She smiled at him.  
  
"Engineering is this way, T'Son," she said. T'Son followed her, very confused.  
  
Spock, having finally escaped Bones and his little ally, decided he needed to do something about the two younger Vulcans. They both appeared to be very hyper and would do whatever they wanted to, when they wanted to. Humans clearly did not discipline their children at all. He would have to show them how to be good Vulcans and he was not looking forward to it.  
  
He came into Engineering just in time to hear T'Son finish showing Scotty a very interesting and seemingly futuristic trick to make the warp coil operate at greater efficiency. That was the reason he had suggested the children stay. Toreth was no where to be seen.  
  
"Thank you, lad!" Scotty told T'Son with enthusiasm. "But I didna know that there were three Vulcans running around this ship!"  
  
"Toreth and I only recently came. I am not sure how long Toreth will be staying though, because she is not exactly a member of th-"  
  
"Mr. Scott. I wish to speak with T'Son alone a moment," Spock interrupted, realizing that he was about to tell Scotty that Toreth was half Romulan.  
  
"Alright, Mr. Spock," Scotty said. "But if you do not mind, I would like to talk a bit more to the lad about what he seemingly knows of future engineering."  
  
"Of course." Spock took T'Son aside. "After a few of our incidents with the Romulans, it would not be good for the crew to know Toreth's true nature. And also, I need to teach you and Toreth both some things about being Vulcan. Where is she?"  
  
"I do not know. She got bored and left a little while ago."  
  
Spock sighed. This could take a while...  
  
Qwi was not sure what exactly she was supposed to do. McCoy had gone down to sickbay, Spock had gone after T'Son and Toreth, and Kirk had gone to the bridge. Once again, she was the one everyone forgot, the one who was pushed aside. She might not have been a Trekkie for as long as the other two, and she might not watch Trek faithfully every single night, but she was still worth something. And she was not going to settle for last place now.  
  
First however, she had to figure out where to go. From listening to Toreth and T'Son talk, she knew that the bridge was where everything was controlled and that to get there one went in a turbolift. She quickly found one, told it to take her to the bridge, and arrived there just in time to here Captain Kirk say, "Starfleet has ordered us to open negotiations with the planet Halka for their dilithium crystals. Set course for Halka, warp factor seven."  
  
Those words brought a memory to life in Qwi's mind. The Halkans... from the episode Mirror, Mirror! Apparently they had arrived just in time for that episode. Qwi now had the advantage. She knew exactly when they were, unlike Toreth and T'Son, and knew exactly what was going to happen, unlike everyone else. Qwi smiled. Now it was her chance to show T'Son and Toreth she was more than they thought her to be.  
  
Toreth sat next to the giant, old-fashioned wheel and watched the ship leap into warp. There were few things that Toreth could actually sit still for. One of those was watching things like this. The stars reminded her of the screensaver of the laptop she used to own only a day ago. That computer was probably trash long ago.  
  
"Computer, what is the date?" she asked.  
  
"Stardate 3558.4," the computer replied in its monotone voice. Toreth, being the dedicated Trekkie she was, recognized the date as after the episode The Apple and before The Deadly Years, which meant Mirror, Mirror had either just happened or was about to happen. She liked that episode. But she did not yet like leaving this place of solitude. Toreth decided to ask later. But now, she was getting bored.  
  
"Computer, does the Earth game of Minesweeper still exist?"  
  
"Affirmative."  
  
"Okay computer, set it up in this room for me plea- Wait! Why am I saying please to a computer!? Just set it up." Toreth shook her head in slight amusement and set the Minesweeper board to expert level.  
  
"Computer, locate Toreth," Spock said, pressing a button on the wall of the ship.  
  
"Toreth is in the observation room," the computer replied. Spock turned to T'Son.  
  
"I have to go to the bridge. I believe that we are going to Halka to negotiate for their dilithium crystals."  
  
"You mean Mirror, Mirror is about to happen?" T'Son asked. Spock raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I have no idea of what you are talking about. Will you tell Toreth that you two need to meet me in my quarters at 1900 hours?" he asked.  
  
"Okay," he said. "Computer, beam me directly to the observation room." He disappeared and Spock permitted himself a small smile. It was clear that none of the three would miss any chance to use the technology that now had available. He headed to the bridge.  
  
Qwi saw Spock come onto the bridge.  
  
"Spock, where are T'Son and Toreth?" she asked.  
  
"Why did you not simply ask the computer?" Spock asked in return.  
  
"Oh yeah," Qwi said. "So where are they?"  
  
"This is highly illogical. I have told you the proper course of action and you persist in doing the least logical thing," Spock said.  
  
"I know! I am illogical, remember?" Qwi said, even as she remembered using that line on Toreth countless times. Spock sighed. This was all but a miniature McCoy.  
  
"They are in the observation room," he said, rather than get into another hour-long, absolutely pointless argument.  
  
"Thanks! Computer, beam me directly to the observation room!" Qwi said cheerfully.  
  
"Feel like retiring early?" Kirk asked Spock.  
  
"No Captain," Spock said, the joke completely bypassing him. 


	5. More Pure Insanity!

Reviewer Replies:  
  
Qwi13: The next chapter is up and you are not insane yet. I am letting you argue a lot with T'Son here so be happy! (Not really...LOL)  
  
MySchemingMind: I do not get stardates so I just put in a number that looked probable. Klingons do indeed come in here and my friends and I cause trouble! Yay! I hope you like it!  
  
Where is everyone!? Please review again! You get a special note dedicated to you at the top of the chapter! This is insane and purely for humor so R and do the second R too please!  
  
Qwi materialized in the observation room to see Toreth and T'Son both leaning over the screen, talking quietly.  
  
"Awww, that is so sweet!" Qwi teased. "You look like boyfriend and girlfriend whispering your little secrets!"  
  
"Shut up!" Toreth screeched, as T'Son leapt away from her.  
  
"Nat- I mean T'Son and I were merely attempting to look up things on the mirror universe, but since it has not been discovered yet and this is a universe where Star Trek was never a television show, there is nothing," Toreth protested.  
  
"No TV?" Qwi asked, shocked.  
  
"Duh, smart one," T'Son said sarcastically. "Of course there is TV, or rather, was. There was just no show called Star Trek. It would spoil the future, like it did in our universe."  
  
"Quit with the alternate realities already! Oh, brain pain!" Qwi muttered. Then she suddenly looked up. "Brain pain... I got that from A Sitch in Time! Computer, does Kim Possible come on, like, holovision or something in this century!?" T'Son groaned.  
  
"Affirmative. The Disney show Kim Possible comes on everyday from 9:00 to 9:30, 14:00 to 14:30, 17:00 to 17:30, and 23:00 to 23:00."  
  
"Two. Hours," Qwi said, speechless with the discovery of her favorite show.  
  
"That is correct. Two hours completely and totally wasted," T'Son said cheerfully.  
  
"If you two start arguing over Kim Possible again-"Toreth began. It was too late. T'Son and Qwi were, once again, arguing very loudly.  
  
"I am going to the bridge," Toreth muttered. Neither being saw her, or noticed when she left. Toreth came onto the bridge and immediately came over to the central chair.  
  
"Captain, may I please, please, please just sit in the captain's chair of the Enterprise?" she begged, having always wanted to sit there.  
  
"Sure," Kirk said, delighted with the attention she was giving him.  
  
"Be careful," Bones muttered. "We will have to transport him off the ship if you keep this up because his ego will not fit inside."  
  
"I know," Toreth said as she leaned into the back of the chair.  
  
"Can I have my chair back?" Kirk asked after a moment.  
  
"No," she said in a day dreamy voice, clearly light-years away, possibly pretending she really was Captain.  
  
"Okay," Kirk said, doubtfully.  
  
"I am fascinated by the influence females of any species, whatever age they are, seem to have on you, Captain," Spock commented.  
  
"Spock!" Kirk cried while Bones said, "This is the first and last time I will ever agree with you, Pointy."  
  
"Sir, Klingon ship decloaking dead ahead!" Uhura suddenly said. Toreth sat up quickly.  
  
"Red alert! All hands to battle stations! Hail them, Uhura, though I do not expect anything. If they do not respond, target their weapons and propulsion systems and fire at will," Toreth said, surprising everyone wither taking command and her accuracy in what they were supposed to do.  
  
"That is my job," Kirk said, a moment too late. The Klingons, surprisingly, appeared on the viewscreen.  
  
"Kirk! I wanted a challenge!" the Klingon captain, a female, said angrily. "Why is there a Vulcan child in command?"  
  
"I only wish I was in command," Toreth said, getting up. "And I am not only Vulcan, I am half Romulan too." The crew gaped at this girl who was able to reprimand a Klingon captain just as T'Son and Qwi ran onto the bridge.  
  
"Awesome!" T'Son cried. "I have never seen a Klingon bridge this close! I wonder if I can beam aboard and look around."  
  
"Why would you want to associate with Klingons? I do not even like Worf," Rachel said.  
  
"You two," Toreth said, hoping to avoid another argument, "this is the TOS era. The Klingon Empire and the Federation are still enemies!"  
  
"What are they talking about, Kirk?" the Klingon female asked.  
  
"Damned if I know!" Kirk replied.  
  
"T'Son, Toreth, come here and do not disturb the Captain anymore," Spock said.  
  
"What about me?" Qwi asked.  
  
"Do not worry. This prejudiced horseshoe crab only sees others with pointed ears," Bones said, pulling her away from the others.  
  
"Horseshoe crab?" Spock asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, I heard somewhere that they have green blood! It would have been a good insult, if you were not such a Vulcan! Humorless, all of them!"  
  
"Can we return to the matter at hand!?" Kirk demanded of the five.  
  
"Yes, I agree with him!" the Klingon captain snapped.  
  
"Klingons and Kirk agreeing? I never thought I would see the day..." Toreth whispered to T'Son. He nodded. While the Klingon and Kirk were discussing terms of the battle, Qwi, Bones, Spock, and T'Son continued their little war.  
  
"Giving up now would be advisable," Spock said, "for you have never before beaten me in these pointless arguments."  
  
"Oh no you do not!" Qwi hissed. "I am going to argue until your pointed ears fall off!" Toreth leaned back and watched the human-vs.-Vulcan dilemma play itself out. None of them noticed the ship being rocked by explosions, nor when some one said, "Target destroyed, Captain. Setting course for Halka once more."  
  
"Oh look at time!" Toreth sang out. "Come on T'Son, Qwi, let us go get something from the replicator." She pulled her protesting best friends into a turbolift, followed by the three senior officers.  
  
"Spock, this will be your chance to introduce us new Vulcans to some Vulcan plomeek soup!" Toreth said with delight.  
  
"Who needs vegetarian garbage?" Bones said. I am going to show Qwi some of my favorite dishes from some decent places in the quadrant! Dishes with... meat!" Spock shuddered.  
  
"Wait a second!" T'Son said. "To be a Vulcan, do I have to give up meat!?"  
  
"That is generally accepted," Spock said calmly.  
  
"And that means... no more pepperoni pizza!!!!!" he wailed. Toreth, Qwi, and Bones started laughing and Qwi immediately went to the replicator and ordered pizza. She took a huge bite of pepperoni and casually dangled the slice just within T'Son's reach. He stared at it, clearly distressed.  
  
"And Ste- I mean Toreth can have it too, since she is half Romulan," Qwi laughed. T'Son moaned.  
  
"Come on, T'Son, how about we taste that plomeek soup?" Toreth said, said jerking him away from Qwi.  
  
"Toreth, you are ruining the best moment of my life!" Qwi said furiously.  
  
"Quote from Ronald Weasley, from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, chapter thirteen, page 207," Toreth shot back.  
  
"You know I hate Harry Potter," Qwi said.  
  
"So do I, and Spock, but Jim loves it!" Bones said.  
  
"They should get along very well," Qwi said, munching on a pepperoni and glaring at Spock, T'Son, Toreth, and Kirk, who was a little way behind the other three.  
  
Dinner was eaten, with too much bickering to remember and soon came the hour for the Vulcans. While Bones and Kirk played 3-D chess and Rachel read, the Vulcans retreated into Spock's quarters so they could be taught more about their race and Toreth and T'Son especially could actually start acting their race. 


	6. Vulcan Ceremony and Mad Teenagers

I cannot do review replies this chapter because FFN will not let me onto the reviews page. However, I will say thank you to my three constant reviewers- MySchemingMind, Data, and Qwi13. I love you guys! And MySchemingMind, I joined your yahoo group. And just a note to all, I am not sure about the dates here, so correct me if I am wrong.  
  
"Understand," Spock began, "that the ideal Vulcan way of life is not practiced even by all Vulcans. However, even non-practicing Vulcans have a sense of control that is more than humans do. You two, to be blunt, lack that."  
  
"But what about Vulcans like... like Sybok?" asked Toreth.  
  
"See. You hesitated to say a name. That not Vulcan at all, Toreth." Toreth frowned, knowing that Spock was avoiding the subject. She could tell that Sybok and those like him were not often discussed in Vulcan culture. "You are both already too old to gain the instinctive way of behavior. Instincts come at a very young age, and you are both teenagers."  
  
"There is a way though... to make it instinctive," T'Son said. Spock looked at him.  
  
"Yes, T'Son," was all he said. Toreth leaned over to him.  
  
"T'Son!" she whispered. "Why would you suggest such an intimate thing? We may know him better than we know ourselves, but he does not know us at all!"  
  
"Well, it is not like anyone else on this ship who can initiate a mind meld could help me, cough, cough," he whispered back.  
  
"T'Son is right," Spock said then.  
  
"What!?" Toreth cried.  
  
"This is the only way to teach you properly. However, both of you have to know what you are getting into."  
  
"I understand," was all Toreth could say. She would at last mind meld with the Vulcan she had loved since age twelve.  
  
"I do too," T'Son said. Even the normally annoyed-with-emotions boy was looking completely awed.  
  
"But Spock!" Toreth began.  
  
"Yes?" he asked.  
  
"Could you not teach it to both of us as once if we did like a three way mind meld?" she asked. Spock looked at her curiously.  
  
"Are you and T'Son close enough friends that you could mind meld and not mind. You have proven that you know how intimate it is." Both Toreth and T'Son nodded.  
  
"This has never been done before, right?" T'Son said.  
  
"I do not know if it will even work, but it should," Spock said. The three sat in a sort-of circle, and Spock started the meld. Suddenly they all could see the room from different points of view; they could sense each other's own minds. T'Son and Toreth, having never done this before, wanted to jump right into the swirling chaos of each others' minds or Spock's ordered one, but Spock had stopped and so did they.  
  
Spock lightly touched the edges of their minds and wonderful new images began to flow into their minds, things from Vulcan's past, ancient teachings, an instinctive way of life. It was a real "whole new world" for both T'Son and Toreth, and they loved it.  
  
Slowly, the flow of knowledge stopped and their minds separated, became their own once more. Toreth could only say two words that summed up everything she and T'Son were thinking: thank you.  
  
the next morning  
  
"Do they always have such random conversations?" Bones asked in bewilderment as he stared at the three teenagers who were standing near the main viewscreen. Kirk grinned.  
  
"Bones, do you remember when you were a teenager? They were raised human, so naturally they would have the tendency of humans to make pointless conversation," Kirk told his CMO.  
  
"Spock, didn't you, T'Son, and Toreth do some sort of Vulcan ritual- ceremony-thingy last night?" Bones asked.  
  
"We did a three-way mind meld, which is neither a ritual, nor a ceremony, nor a thingy, therefore, the answer is no," Spock calmly responded.  
  
"Everything is a 'thingy,' Spock," Bones said. He then thought a moment. "Expect for people. People are what's-hir-faces," he finished. "You can also use thingamajig, thingamabob, watchacallit..."  
  
"Doohickey," Toreth called from the front of the bridge.  
  
"Thank you," McCoy told her. He did not notice Spock rolling his eyes ever so slightly. "So then, why are they still being random and," McCoy grinned, "illogical?"  
  
"I am attempting to become more logical in my actions, though I fear I cannot change my entire personality in one night," Toreth said, coming over to join them. Bones stared at her.  
  
"I think you achieved your goal," he said weakly.  
  
"Quit with the formalities and logic ness," Qwi complained.  
  
"Logic ness is not a word," T'Son said. "The correct word would be logicalness."  
  
"Goddess!" Qwi screeched.  
  
"I have told you before- goddess is just like saying the male equivalent and as the three of us are Christians..." T'Son began.  
  
"I know!" Qwi yelled at him.  
  
"She gets it from the Song of the Lioness quartet, and it is not really taking God's name in vain," Toreth told T'Son, sort of quoting the third of the Ten Commandments.  
  
"Song of the Lioness?" T'Son asked skeptically.  
  
"A book quartet written by Tamora Pierce, but as you are not interested if it happened before 2365, you would not care," Toreth said. T'Son sighed.  
  
"Wait... we are only in the year 2267," Kirk pointed out.  
  
"He thinks TOS is okay, though not as good as some of the other series," Toreth said calmly, confusing the bridge crew even more.  
  
"What's TOS?" Bones asked. Toreth smiled evilly and said nothing.  
  
"It is-"Qwi began.  
  
"Do not tell them; you will corrupt the timeline!" T'Son said.  
  
"We already have corrupted the timeline," Toreth pointed out. "Technically, we are not supposed to be here, and beside, we know everything that will happen in the next hundred and thirty or so years." Spock looked over at Kirk and Bones with an eyebrow raised. For the Vulcan, that was like saying, "I knew they would be assets to us!" Bones crossed his arms and said nothing.  
  
"But they do not know and we should not tell them. Anyway, you yourself are always wondering what the 'true timeline' really is," T'Son said.  
  
"That is because I saw the TNG episode 'Parallels,'" Toreth said. "There are endless universes all simultaneously existing and every little decision we make affects them!"  
  
Qwi had been looking from one to another, unable to follow their conversation, as she was not as much of a Trekkie. (A/N: No offense, Rachel, but it is true). "Brain pain," she muttered.  
  
"Would you stop quoting 'A Sitch in Time'!?" Toreth asked, annoyed.  
  
"'A Sitch in Time'?" T'Son asked.  
  
"It is a Kim Possible movie," Qwi told him.  
  
"Not Kim Impossible!!!" T'Son groaned. Qwi grinned, and then turned to Toreth.  
  
"If you can recite 'The Undiscovered Country', I can recite 'A Sitch in Time," Qwi said.  
  
"Merde," Toreth said.  
  
"Stop cussing in French," Qwi said.  
  
"How about in German?" Toreth said, smiling sinisterly.  
  
"No! And please do not tell me you know how to say merde in German," Qwi said.  
  
"Yes," Toreth said, very seriously.  
  
"I am not allowed to watch PG-13," T'Son told them.  
  
"Two things, T'Son," Toreth said. "First, your parents have been dead for a few hundred years. Second, you are well over thirteen and that is a ludicrous rule anyway."  
  
"Mom and Dad... are dead?" T'Son said, for in all the excitement, he had forgotten all about the fact that everyone he knew was gone.  
  
"Yes," Toreth said, showing no signs of sadness or regret. "Though you know, you can look up descendants of the Black family."  
  
"Fun," T'Son said. The three teenagers dashed for the turbolift. It opened barely in time to stop Toreth from slamming into it. The doors closed and it suddenly seemed very quiet on the bridge.  
  
"Bones?" Kirk asked.  
  
"Yeah?" Bones said.  
  
"For the first time, I am glad I never married," Kirk said, shaking his head. 


	7. Qwi Saves Christine's Life

FFN is finally letting me see my reviews so:  
  
Qwi13: You think I am making you like an SWS kid! I never! I am merely correcting you because you do not know as much about Trek. Do not worry though- this chapter is you-and-me central. Forgive me!  
  
Data: Vulcans do not giggle. But then, if you read more, you find out that you are actually right. giggles I am happy I made you laugh though.  
  
MySchemingMind: Well, I am not getting that insane... yet. And T'Son's reaction to the Vulcan thing is... unexpected. Well, to me anyway.  
  
I am posting a lot because I will be in DC for the next four days. Class trip, boring. I may even get another chapter up tonight, and this can happen again if everyone raises eyebrow reviews.  
  
It was soon discovered that Toreth's little sister had married and had kids, but her line stopped around 2143. T'Son's niece had descendents, a few of whom were in Starfleet, but none on the Enterprise. The real surprising thing came from Qwi's little brother.  
  
"Christine Chapel descended from your little brother!?" Toreth cried, staring wide-eyed at the screen. "But I always hated Christine!"  
  
"I wonder why?" T'Son said sarcastically. Toreth swatted him.  
  
"She does not deserve him," she muttered. No one needed to ask what she was talking about. Suddenly though, her face brightened.  
  
"Scoot over, T'Son," she said, sitting down the chair.  
  
"Get off!" T'Son groaned.  
  
"This will only take a second," Toreth said. Rather than using the voice commands, she typed in a name that T'Son could not see- Alicia Harrison. Grinning in an evil Romulan way, she jumped off T'Son and let him look at the screen. His eyes widened. Qwi unsuccessfully tried to hide her laughter.  
  
"Who is Eugene Garrett?" T'Son asked after a moment.  
  
"You girlfriend's husband," Toreth said. T'Son glared at her. Qwi and Toreth grinned at him. He started to type in a new name- Andrew.  
  
"I broke up with him, remember?" Toreth said in a sing-song voice. "If you will excuse Qwi and me; we have to go 'talk' with a certain nurse. She grabbed Qwi and they ran off.  
  
T'Son stared at the name of his former girlfriend's husband. "I will miss you, Alicia," he said softly. But then, he knew that Toreth like him.  
  
Meanwhile, Qwi and Toreth were in a turbolift on the way to sickbay.  
  
"That was brilliant!" Qwi said.  
  
"Did you see the look on his face?" Toreth said.  
  
"Maybe he will go out with you now," Qwi said. "Though I do not know why you would want to."  
  
"I do not know, though I am ecstatic at this. What if Spock...?" she began, then trailed off.  
  
"Maybe if you play hard to get," Toreth said, "he will want to go out with you all the more. It always works in books!" They were interrupted by a cough.  
  
"Excuse me," the cute, young ensign said. "Should I go to a different turbolift?"  
  
"Sorry, Ensign Whatever-Your-Name-Is," Toreth said quickly.  
  
"Joel Monarch," Joel Monarch said. They went down a level or two in silence, until Joel got off. Qwi and Toreth looked at each other nervously, then simultaneously both started giggling.  
  
"He was so checking you out," Toreth said as they exited the 'lift.  
  
"So not!" Qwi said. "You know that I do not like boys."  
  
"So so," Toreth said. "And of course I know, as you always complain about them."  
  
"So not," Qwi said as they entered sickbay.  
  
"So so," Toreth whispered, just before a blonde nurse walked up to them.  
  
"Hello," the nurse said.  
  
"Hi... Christine..." Toreth said, sounding as though she was trying not to pull out a phaser and shoot her. Which, Qwi reminded herself, she probably was. "Did, um, youknowthatyouareadescendantofQwi?" she asked, all in a rush.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Christine asked politely.  
  
"She wanted to know if you knew that you were my descendant," Qwi translated. The nurse frowned, confused.  
  
"We come from the past," Qwi explained, shoving Toreth's hand away from her phaser. She did not want the half-Romulan to go violent, like any normal Romulan.  
  
"Oh," the Christine said.  
  
"Come on, Toreth, let me go pour a bucket of ice over you..." Qwi urged her jealous friend.  
  
"Okay," she said, showing that she really was off in some fantasy world. Qwi shook her head and dragged Toreth away.  
  
Once back in the turbolift, Toreth seemed to recover. "I wish I could just be a full Romulan with enhanced telepathic abilities. Then I would have an excuse to kill Christine," she muttered. Naturally, light flashed and a moment later, Toreth was standing there exactly the same as before, except that now she was a Romulan with enhanced telepathic abilities.  
  
"Have I ever told you how much I love Q?" Toreth said. "Halt turbolift. Take us back to sickbay. Resume."  
  
"Toreth!" Qwi cried. Toreth looked a Qwi, eyebrow raised. "You never told me you had silver eyes now."  
  
"It is actually not uncommon among Romulans. I assume I have the two bones in a 'V' on my forehead too?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I really, really love Q," Toreth said.  
  
"That is so nice. Thank you," a voice said.  
  
"Welcome," Toreth said.  
  
"Wait... how did you get me to change the subject!?" Qwi asked. Toreth gave her an innocent look.  
  
"Halt turbolift. Take us to the dining room. Resume," Toreth said.  
  
"Dining room," Toreth muttered, then cracked up.  
  
"What?" Qwi asked.  
  
"Nothing at all," Toreth said. Qwi decided not to argue, as she knew her friend would never tell her anything and it would be completely useless. Sometimes she hated Toreth's unrelenting stubbornness. For that, Toreth decided not to change the turbolift again.  
  
They arrived at the 'dining room' and Toreth immediately told the replicator something in Romulan. A dish shimmered into existence and Qwi ordered pepperoni pizza. Of course, at that moment, T'Son just had to walk in. Qwi waved at him with a slice.  
  
"That is it!" he cried. "I did not do this before, because Toreth, I know how much you hate Klingons, but she has done it again! Q, I want to be three-quarters Vulcan, one-quarter Klingon!" Once more, there was a flash of light and no difference outwardly.  
  
"Pepperoni pizza," T'Son said. Toreth rolled her eyes.  
  
"Let us go sit down, she said. "And there is no way a full Romulan would eat with even a quarter Klingon, so change back, T'Son."  
  
"You are not full Romulan... you are!?" he gasped. Silver eyes narrowed.  
  
"Provided that you will not make fun of the glorious Romulan people or empire, I will eat with you," Toreth said stiffly. She walked to a table, head held high, and sat down regally. T'Son and Qwi stared at each, neither able to understand the famous mood swings of Toreth of Romulus. 


	8. Phasers in the Hands of Teens

Last chapter tonight! R&R please!  
  
Qwi had a hard time restraining laughter as she watched the Romulan and the Vulcan-Klingon take a bite or two of food, slyly glance at the other, and then return to their food. Neither of them knew the other was doing it. Qwi smiled happily.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Spock asked from where he sat next to Toreth.  
  
"Toreth and T'Son are so obvious, yet they cannot even see it in each other, so they decide to be enemies and use their species as an excuse. It is so funny!" Qwi whispered. She did not tell Spock that she was happy that for once, she had the upper hand.  
  
It had always been Stephanie and Nathan, and then Rachel. Even now, it was still Toreth and T'Son. Both Vulcans, or at least Toreth had been. Both Trekkies to the extreme, while, she liked it a little but was not completely obsessed. Both were brilliant mathematicians, while she had trouble with things like fifteen squared. Goddess, they even both chose names that began with "T!"  
  
"I do not see how two emotional beings who love one another and stubbornly refuse to tell each other is amusing," Spock said. Qwi laughed again. Spock wisely decided not to comment. A moment later though, it was not Qwi who was laughing.  
  
The doors slid open. A few people glanced over to see who it was, one of those people being Toreth. Ensign Monarch walked in, ordered a something-or- other from the replicator and sat down.  
  
"Qwi, look!" she said, pointing him out.  
  
"Toreth, do not start..." Qwi began.  
  
"I was teasing New York brain," Toreth said.  
  
"New York brain?" Qwi asked.  
  
"Another lame insult I came up with," Toreth said airily.  
  
"Who is he anyway?" T'Son asked.  
  
"This guy who over heard our conversation right after we left you and Alicia alone," Qwi said, shooting Toreth a triumphant look. T'Son and Toreth both glared at her.  
  
"Should we kill her now?" T'Son asked.  
  
"Yes," Toreth said. They both drew phasers and pointed them at Qwi. Qwi stared at the phasers, not Trekkie enough to tell what level they were set on. She could think of nothing but to draw her own phaser.  
  
"What level is that on?" Toreth asked.  
  
"You tell me yours first," Qwi shot back. Toreth sighed.  
  
"Level two," she said.  
  
"Level five," T'Son said.  
  
"Level three," Qwi said.  
  
"Trust the... Klingon... to have his highest," Toreth said with disdain.  
  
"Trust the cowardly Romulan to have hers lowest," T'Son said.  
  
"Never underestimate the power of a good hostage. Also, Qwi is my friend."  
  
"Ha ha, not mine," T'Son laughed.  
  
"Neither are your mine," Qwi said.  
  
"Dear God, please let them not start arguing again," Toreth frantically prayed. It was too late. T'Son was saying something about an airlock, and Qwi saying something about ninja monkeys from Kim Possible. Toreth did not think she wanted to know. It was time to let out a secret weapon.  
  
"Look, Joel Monarch and Alicia Harrison are snogging!" she said.  
  
"What?" T'Son and Qwi both cried. Toreth grinned.  
  
"At least you are no longer arguing!" she said. And then she ran out of the room. Qwi and T'Son took one look at each other before streaking after her.  
  
"Who are Joel Monarch and Allison Harrison?" Kirk asked. "No Spock, don't answer that. You, Bones, and I have to find three teenagers who are going to destroy the ship." Spock refrained from pointing out that they would not destroy Enterprise, just one another.  
  
that night  
  
"Oh polynomials, I love you!" Toreth sang to the tune of the French anthem.  
  
"Polynomials?" Kirk asked.  
  
"Sorry. It is just that Qwi detests polynomials, so I have to think of ways to annoy her with them," Toreth said.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do that, after your arguments today?" Kirk asked.  
  
"We are always doing things like that. T'Son and Qwi know that I am the one who makes the really bad jokes that are not the most appropriate either. Like, you do not want to here the one I made up about repopulating the universe..." Toreth laughed.  
  
"I think I agree," Kirk said.  
  
"Did you move my hairbrush?" Toreth asked suddenly.  
  
"No..." Kirk said.  
  
"Never mind; I found it. What about the bubble gum flavored lip gloss?" Toreth asked.  
  
"Oh, that was lip gloss?" Kirk asked.  
  
"What did you do with it?" Toreth said.  
  
"I thought it was some sort of candy. It tasted good," Kirk said, starting to feel very ill.  
  
"Please do not tell me you ate my lip gloss because they are not made in the same type of containers in the twenty-third century," Toreth said.  
  
"Ummm..." Kirk said.  
  
"Oh well," Toreth said cheerfully. "I shall replicate more and you... you shall get indigestion."  
  
Meanwhile, things were not going well with Qwi either.  
  
"Doctor, what is this thingamajig on my bed?" Qwi asked. Bones looked at it, swore, and said a name no one but a doctor could pronounce.  
  
"I should not have forgotten about this; Spock will shoot me," he muttered.  
  
"At least T'Son did not shoot you with the phaser," Qwi muttered.  
  
"It was on the lowest setting and besides, you got him back," Bones said.  
  
"I hate males," Qwi said glumly.  
  
"Hey!" Bones said.  
  
"Most males," Qwi corrected herself. "I bet Toreth is thinking about him right now."  
  
"So, does Toreth like Spock or T'Son?" McCoy asked.  
  
"Both," Qwi responded. "She likes Spock more though."  
  
"I cannot imagine why."  
  
"Me neither." Both sighed, gloomy at the end of the day.  
  
And now, for the talks between Spock and T'Son!  
  
"T'Son, you did not behave at all like a Vulcan today, and neither did Toreth," he said.  
  
"I am a quarter Klingon now," T'Son said, "and Toreth is all Romulan."  
  
"It is very curious, this ability to change species at will by summoning this Q. What is Q?"  
  
"He is kind of... like Trelane!" T'Son told Spock.  
  
"Trelane? Why would you want to associate with him?" Spock asked.  
  
"He is much better than Trelane though. Q rules!"  
  
The three got in bed after a very... interesting day. Toreth's last thought was of who she liked better, T'Son or Spock, T'Son's last thought was wondering if he should ask Toreth out, and Qwi's last though was the happy image of T'Son "accidentally" falling out an airlock. She was the only one who fell asleep happily. 


	9. Weird and Not at All in Pattern

Disclaimer: Mzsnaz owns the two stories I mention, not I. Go read them, they are hilarious! They are also not mine, nor do I have permission to even mention them. I also do own Skittles, but not the company. LOL  
  
Qwi13: I am not sure how many chapters are even left in AOTTT! but remember, I promised a sequel. And as you were in DC with me, you naturally would not have brought your thesaurus and that not-so-Comfort Inn certainly did not have one. (You could have gone to though...  
  
MB the New Trekkie: Hi! Great to see a new reviewer who likes my story!  
  
MySchemingMind: I agree. You always make the ones you love most suffer most and I certainly am being mean to poor Spock... And Spock knows I like both him and T'Son, but I am still not sure where I want to go with the romance scene... There will be romance though, as I cannot seem to write a story without romance! And DC was alright, it was the evil classmates who got on my nerves! LOL I did get to spend like a hundred dollars on Trek DVDs and books though!  
  
Sorry it is taking so long to actually get to the Mirror, Mirror, but I have not found it on my tapes yet since my uncle (too whom the tape belong) never wrote down the order in which he recorded them. Also, this is a rather... different chapter. There will be more humor later though!  
  
By now, T'Son was used to the morning routine, so he was in the bathroom combing his hair when he heard a muffled thud and a cry of, "Daggers!"  
  
"In here, Toreth," he said calmly. She came in, muttering something about guys who knew more than was good for them. T'Son raising an eyebrow at her, to which she responded by spinning around and smacking him with her braid.  
  
"There should be a rule against that," T'Son said, glaring at her hair, which was now neatly hanging down her back, over the red halter top she had replicated.  
  
"There should be a rule against what?" Spock asked from the doorway.  
  
"She spun around and slapped me with her hair," T'Son said simply. Spock raised his own eyebrow. T'Son sighed. It was sure to be a long morning.  
  
later  
  
T'Son and Toreth played a game of chess in a rec room, T'Son and Qwi argued over some idiotic thing or another, and Toreth tried to stop their arguments by adding comments of her own.  
  
"Can you imagine what would happen if Starfleet Command allowed families on starships?" Kirk asked Spock over their chess game next to Toreth and T'Son.  
  
"That will happen... when they allow bald, PD-loving Frenchmen to be captains of starships," McCoy said sarcastically. The Trekkie Trio looked at each other and burst into laughter.  
  
"I am so confused," Bones said worriedly. Kirk gave him a sympathetic look.  
  
"Until T'Son and I die, you will never be normal again," Toreth informed him.  
  
"What about me?" Qwi asked.  
  
"You never took T'Son's insanity test, thus you are, horror of horrors, still sane!" Toreth gasped in a mock-scared voice.  
  
"Nooooooo!" T'Son gasped also.  
  
"So just because I never took the insanity test, that, I might add, was really stupid, I am less in our little trio," Qwi said, eyes turning a very cold shade of blue.  
  
"No, you-" Toreth began.  
  
"But then what does that matter, because it has always been Stephanie and Nathan, then Rachel! One more thing cannot possibly hurt!"  
  
"Qwi, I did not mean-"  
  
"Security to Rec Room 2," Kirk whispered into his communicator.  
  
"Wise precaution," Bones whispered back. "You never know what teenage girls will do, especially at, um, certain times of the month."  
  
"Bones!" Toreth called embarrassedly.  
  
"Damn Romulan hearing," McCoy said.  
  
"Damnation will hardly help you if you interfere in what some humans refer to as 'cat fights,'" Spock pointed out calmly.  
  
"Where did Qwi go?" Toreth asked. They all looked around. Because, as Qwi had pointed out, she felt invisible, she used that to her advantage.  
  
"I never meant to make her feel less," Toreth muttered. She picked up her queen and put it down next to T'Son's king. "Checkmate."  
  
Meanwhile, Qwi sat down at a computer screen. She called up every file she could think of and began her plan. She had read two stories by mzsnaz called Silence of the D ns and Paybacks are H ll on the old site fanfiction.net in her universe. (A/N: Read them if you like humor, they are hilarious!) She smiled, those giving her ideas.  
  
"Red Skittles," Toreth told a replicator. A small bowl of red Skittles materialized in front of her. She took it and sat down next to Qwi.  
  
"You know I did not mean to sound degrading, right?" Toreth asked.  
  
"Not if I can have a few," Qwi pointed at the bowl. Toreth set it down in between them.  
  
"We are stopping at a planet before we get to Halka," Toreth said. "Jim told me."  
  
"Jim!?" Qwi asked, startled out of her depression.  
  
"He gave me permission to call him Jim," Toreth said, and then dismissed it with an upper-classy wave of her hand. "Anyhow, he is going to pretend to have picked us up there. You and T'Son are just kids he is transporting from the planet to wherever. I am an exchange student from Romulus who he is accepting as a possible entrance to peace talks and am traveling with you two."  
  
"Weird... but that would mean that he is giving you the same privilege as Spock and Bones!"  
  
"See, we all call Spock 'Spock' so it is really no difference."  
  
"But Spock does not have a last name or a title that he really uses... at least not now."  
  
"So?" Qwi shook her head. Yes, she was still definitely "out." That would change though. Toreth got up and walked away.  
  
Later that day, Toreth came into the office of the CMO of the starship Enterprise, something several crewmembers would rather die than do.  
  
"Doctor, have they ever thought about, erm, putting counselors on starships?" Toreth asked.  
  
"Counselors? Why?" Bones asked.  
  
"Well, I need someone or something to talk to," she admitted.  
  
"Well, I am the closest thing to a counselor," McCoy said.  
  
"It has always been my dream to be on the starship Enterprise with my two best friends," she said. "But lately, all we have been doing is fighting."  
  
"That is a part of friendship," McCoy pointed out.  
  
"I know but it seems like it is escalating, like T'Son and Qwi actually hate each other! I hate being caught in the middle because I loved them both so much..." McCoy frowned. That sounded like some other relationship, but he could not quite place it...  
  
"They only even talk to each other because of me now!" Toreth said. "I thought this would have been paradise," she finished in a whisper.  
  
"Why don't you focus on being a decent Romulan on a Federation starship, and let them sort things out?" Bones said.  
  
"Because I think they will both still be arguing when they are 130!" Toreth said.  
  
"Something will happen. I am sure of it," Bones reassured her. She left, still looking doubtful. Suddenly, he sat up straight as he realized where he had heard that before. This was the exact same thing as himself, Kirk, and Spock. Did Kirk and Toreth have the same internal conflicts? McCoy sighed, he blue eyes filled with worry.  
  
"I'm a doctor, not a shrink," he muttered. Where would those three be fifteen years from now... and where would he, Spock, and Kirk be? 


	10. Major Silliness WARNING!

MySchemingMind: I actually did finish my Trek movie collection. Want to come over sometime and watch all ten Trek movies in a row? LOL Or we could sit around reading my Trek books... But after the serious ending, I decided to get a bit silly after last chapter's serious, but it will return to the plot soon, never fear!  
  
Scifimimi: Thanks for the welcome. I have never read The Return; I shall have to try it. Thank you.  
  
Qwi13: Do not worry, since we will be spread all over America, it will not matter. But this chapter is more silly than realistic, even if it is based partly on DC. Back to the normal plot soon though!  
  
Meakashi Gosterful: My Mom is the same way so I do this she is not looking. Glad you like my story so far. It does get very silly this chapter.  
  
Data: T'Son and Qwi are nice here, but only because this chapter is unrealistic and completely silly. It is based on DC though. And actually, I thought about having Bones be that way because of our talks. You seem to be that way too.  
  
This chapter is purely for fun. I will get back to the real plot probably next chapter. Be aware of extremely silliness and shopping goodness, for all you girls!  
  
Six people materialized out of sparkling, yellow lights. The three teenagers looked around at this new planet in awe, as they had never been on any planet other than Earth. Kirk and Bones laughed softly until a look from Toreth shut them up.  
  
"You three can explore the city. Do not get lost. Be back at the beam-down site by 1700 hours," Kirk told the Trekkie Trio. "Oh, and here are a few credits. Go have fun." The three grinned at one another and set of running. Toreth divided the credits evenly.  
  
"Do not forget, you guys, that it is only 1130 hours. We have to get lunch down here. Of course, you could always skip and save your money, like me," Toreth said.  
  
"It is not money," T'Son corrected her.  
  
"Right, right," Toreth said airily and waved it off with a hand. T'Son and Qwi both said that they would not eat either, and the three started walking.  
  
"Do you think they have malls in the twenty-third century?" Qwi asked. It turned out that they did. T'Son stopped short at the door, but after a very generous amount of persuasion, entered with the girls.  
  
"Trust me, T'Son, even the," Toreth made a face, "boys in my class liked it when we were in the malls on our class trip to Washington DC."  
  
"Okay..." T'Son said, but he did not sound convinced.  
  
"So where is the nearest bookstore...?" Qwi said, scanning an electronic directory. "I am so glad these are no longer the huge things they were in our malls!" Toreth nodded while T'Son looked confused.  
  
"I think Qwi has the upper hand for once!" Toreth teased him. He rolled his eyes.  
  
"There is a store on the third level over there," Qwi said, pointing to the right.  
  
"Third level?" T'Son asked, sounding panicked. Toreth and Qwi grinned at the boy's discomfort.  
  
"Look up," Qwi said, copying Toreth's favorite line whenever they entered a cathedral or some other old building. T'Son looked up... and saw a six-story mall.  
  
"No," he said. "No, we are not doing all this!"  
  
"Be not ridiculous!" Toreth sang.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Sorry, inside joke... never mind. What I mean is, of course we are not doing all this! Do you honestly think that I would want to go into the futuristic versions of Abercrombie, Aeropostale, and Limited Too?" Qwi and T'Son looked horrified and Toreth laughed. "Exactly." She grinned.  
  
"Come, you two love bugs," Qwi said. Toreth tried to strangle her, and quite succeeded, and T'Son started calling her his favorite insult: specimen. "Okay... shutting... up," Qwi gasped. Toreth let her go.  
  
At last they reached the bookstore without anymore incidents and saw... rows and rows of padds. There were sections labeled with genres, and then the book title above each stack of padds. The padds, thankfully, were also labeled, as Qwi had a habit of not putting things in stores back where they belonged. The Trekkie Trio browsed the store, seeing if their favorite series were still out, comparing prices, and deciding to buy.  
  
"Look, Qwi!" Toreth said excitedly. "It is the entire Wheel of Time series on one flimsy piece of... whatever these are made of."  
  
"No way! I need to buy one!" Qwi said.  
  
"You can borrow mine," Toreth offered.  
  
"No, I want my own," Qwi said confidently. Toreth smiled, knowing the feeling exactly. They paid for their purchases, the girls losing quite a few credits, and T'Son not as many. They at last found a food court and sat down, watching all the people go by. Toreth grinned as she looked at a familiar Chick-Fil-A and saw a Bolian ordering a chicken sandwich.  
  
"I am not sure if I want to skip lunch anymore," T'Son said, looking at all the fascinating alien restaurants. In the end, T'Son and Qwi ended up both getting dishes from some of the alien restaurants, while Toreth said she could replicate something later and settled for a colorful, alien drink. However, she refused to tell T'Son and Qwi what it was.  
  
Later that afternoon, the Trekkie Trio decided to explore the sixth level. It was completely open, with only a force field to keep out rain... and to keep people from jumping off the roof.  
  
"Do you wish that force field wasn't there, Toreth?" T'Son said cheerfully.  
  
"Nope!" she responded. "I left the depressed and suicidal me back in the twenty-first century. I have not even cut my wrist since we got now." Qwi cheered.  
  
"Don't you mean, 'got here'?" T'Son asked.  
  
"No, I mean got now, because we are talking about time, not place," she said.  
  
"Uh huh," Qwi said. Toreth flashed her a smile and headed toward a store selling Jacuzzis. Midway there, she changed her mind and headed for Claire's.  
  
"Oh no..." T'Son said softly.  
  
"Come on!" Toreth cried. "Now I can finally get that third hole in each ear Mom would not let me have!"  
  
"Please do not tell me you are going to carry through with the belly button hole you were thinking about getting too," Qwi begged.  
  
"You were debating a navel piercing?" T'Son asked in surprise.  
  
"Yes to both of you," Toreth said as she scanned the list of available earrings. "Which do you think would look better, Vulcan IDIC or Starfleet?" She held the two logos up to her ears.  
  
"IDIC," her friends said simultaneously. Toreth burst out laughing.  
  
"You... two... agree," she gasped out. Qwi and T'Son were staring at one another in shock and horror. Luckily, they were all saved as a human with way too much make-up on came over to pierce Toreth's ears.  
  
"I am a Betazoid, not a human, and this is not too much make-up," she said, sounding annoyed.  
  
"Oops," Toreth muttered and put up mental shields. Luckily, Betazoids are very understanding of other species, and she did not take revenge on Toreth's pointed ears.  
  
"Toreth, your ears are bright green," T'Son said as they walked away, Toreth holding a pair of hair chopsticks.  
  
"Thank you, T'Son, and they feel like they are on fire too," Toreth said. However, she was smiling.  
  
"Come on!" Qwi urged. "You have to try on crop tops now and we only have two hours left!"  
  
"Oh right!" Toreth grinned and hurried after her.  
  
"Can we go in a store I like?" T'Son asked. There was no response from either female. He rolled his eyes and sat down to read a padd he had bought about Captain Kirk. Meanwhile, Qwi had a wonderful time helping Toreth pick out crop tops and hip-hugger shorts. She at last decided to wear a silvery crop top and red shorts, and replicate other things at home.  
  
"Now can we please go to a decent store?" T'Son asked miserably when they came out again.  
  
"How about that one," Toreth said, pointing.  
  
"Victoria's Secret!? Toreth, you are a sick-minded individual."  
  
"Hell, the bras I bought there were comfortable."  
  
"Toreth! Did that drink have alcohol?"  
  
"Ummm..."  
  
"Lucky it is time to head back to the beam down point," Qwi mumbled.  
  
"No one cares how old you are here because it is different for all aliens," Toreth explained as they exited the mall. T'Son was not listening.  
  
"We never went in a guy's store," he said.  
  
"We went in that cologne store," Toreth reminded him.  
  
"That was your idea. I do not wear cologne."  
  
"I was looking for presents for Spock, not you, smart one," she said. "Besides, today was great! You two barely argued!"  
  
"You are here. I am happy to see teenagers who are actually punctual," Spock said on their arrival. Kirk looked over his shoulder at them, then he did a double-take.  
  
"Toreth, you never told me you had a belly button ring," he said.  
  
"That is because I did not... until today."  
  
"She was drunk," Qwi said hastily. Toreth gave her a scary look.  
  
"I was not drunk. Mom said I could have one hundreds of years ago."  
  
"Literally," Bones said.  
  
"Besides, every girl has to be wild sometimes."  
  
"Why, oh why, did I ever let you read Mates, Dates, and Mad Mistakes?" Qwi groaned. "Why, God, why?" 


	11. Beginning of the Episode

MySchemingMind: Actually, I did go to the Smithsonian. What is really scary is that the mall left a bigger impression on me than the Smithsonian. I might use some of your ideas- like perhaps some aliens with the eyebrow thing. Thanks!  
  
Meakashi Gosterful: She knew it would be... illogical... to give Spock cologne, so she gave it to T'Son instead. LMAO J/K  
  
Qwi13: I am so happy you liked it! We need to drag Nathan to those DC malls sometime. LOL  
  
GreenCat3: I am so glad you like it! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Data: Now, now, Data, no mind reading. ROFL For someone who claims not to understand teenage girls, you do pretty well with me! Read on to find out what I mean!  
  
Sorry about the long time with no update! I have excuses! First I had to watch Mirror, Mirror again, and it did not come on forever. Then I got writer's block. Then I started focusing a lot on my Harry Potter stories. (Read them if you like HP, I always like more readers and reviewers!) Hopefully, I turned out something okay. More fun next chapter!  
  
Once again, the sparkling lights appeared, this time though on the Enterprise transporter pad. Kirk promptly went over to the intercom and made his announcement about the fake reasons T'Son, Toreth, and Qwi were on board. At last, the teenagers were shown to their own rooms.  
  
As it turned out, they did not get nearly the type of rooms they had anticipated. They were all in one set of "quarters." There were two bedrooms, one with two beds, one with one. It was clear that Qwi and Toreth were to share one, T'Son the other.  
  
"Oh no," Toreth moaned softly. "Remember what happened last time we were forced in close quarters for four days?" Qwi nodded.  
  
The bedrooms connected to a very short hallway, off of which was a bathroom. The end of the hallway led to the living and dining area.  
  
"Sorry you could not all have your own quarters," Kirk said. "We are hoping to pick up some Halkan ambassadors, and so we need to save the extras."  
  
"Okay," the three said, already bored. The captain left.  
  
"At least he will not be eating my lip gloss anymore," Toreth giggled. She explained what had happened to Qwi and T'Son. After a while, T'Son decided to go back to the bridge and Qwi decided to socialize with the crew. Toreth rolled her eyes and sat down in front of a computer. "Have fun," she said, raising an eyebrow at Qwi.  
  
"Surely socializing here cannot be so bad!" Qwi protested.  
  
"I learned my lesson with the Evil Classmates," Toreth said.  
  
"They're not all evil," Qwi said as she walked out the door. Toreth stared at the closed door a minute.  
  
"Yes they are," she whispered. Then she locked the door and sat back down in front of the computer. Toreth sighed, and glanced nervously at the door. Her rebellion was already sort of started; no sense in stopping now. "Computer, open a private channel to Romulus..."  
  
Halka appeared in the main viewer, as the Enterprise dropped out of warp. Immediately, the three teenagers all looked up at Captain Kirk with pleading eyes. Kirk smiled at them.  
  
"I can only take one of you," he said.  
  
"Oh please!" Toreth said, tossing her head arrogantly. "Only yourself, Bones, Scotty, and Uhura are going down. You have had bigger landing parties!"  
  
"How did you know!? I never told you who was beaming down!"  
  
"That is exactly why you need us. We all know what is going to happen. In fact, I took notes during the epi... mmmnnngggghhhh!" Qwi put her hand over Toreth's mouth.  
  
"As you keep reminding me, we cannot mess up the timeline!" she said. "Ow, don't bite me!" Qwi and Toreth glared at one another.  
  
"Quit being so immature," T'Son said to the girls. "You should not take them when they might act like this- take me instead," he said to Captain Kirk, completely serious.  
  
"What!?" Toreth and Qwi screeched. "Shall we kill him now?" Qwi asked, quarrel forgotten.  
  
"I think we should," Qwi said. They turned to T'Son, who did nothing but look pointedly at Spock. Toreth smiled guiltily and backed off.  
  
"Girls in love are so predictable," T'Son muttered. Raising his voice, he said, "You know, Toreth, Spock is staying behind.  
  
"Yeah, but I want to meet..." Toreth began, then looked at all the confused crewmembers, and shut up.  
  
"Okay, I've made my decision," Kirk said suddenly, standing up.  
  
"Just like that?" Qwi asked.  
  
"You get used to split second decisions as a starship captain," Toreth whispered. "Besides, I think he was tired of being confused by our talk." Qwi laughed.  
  
"I'm taking T'Son," Kirk said. There was another outcry of "what!?" from both girls. "And Qwi," he said. Toreth's eyes opened wide and the Romulan's face took on a look of disbelief. Qwi grinned, now really knowing what Toreth meant by "split-second."  
  
"I am going to kill you two when you get there, because I will not be allowed to go either," Toreth said.  
  
"That statement is illogical," Spock said.  
  
"You will think differently once you know what is really going on," Toreth said. Qwi and T'Son laughed, but were silenced with a glare from Toreth. "As for me, I am going to go take a walk. Outside. I am sure I will not do that, so do not try to stop me." She strode into the turbolift and wished it had a door she could slam.  
  
"We have to stop her!" Bones said.  
  
"Nah," T'Son said lazily. "If she does not make at least twenty-six death threats, to herself or someone else, every day, we know something is wrong.  
  
"Just never give her a dagger," Qwi added.  
  
"Are all twenty-first century teenagers like you three?" Kirk asked weakly. T'Son and Qwi looked horrified.  
  
"Are you implying that we might be," T'Son started. He closed his eyes and whispered the horrible word out. "_Normal!?_"  
  
"Would you accuse us of such a thing!?" Qwi asked. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy looked at one another, at a loss for words.  
  
"What would Toreth say!? I wish she could come," T'Son said.  
  
"Oooooo, you think she's goooooorgeous, you want to daaaaate her, you want to huuuuug-" Qwi said in a singsong voice before she was cut off.  
  
"Shut up. I have never even seen Miss Congeniality," T'Son said.  
  
"Then how do you know where that is from?" Qwi asked teasingly.  
  
"You and Toreth sing it to me often enough," T'Son muttered.  
  
"I loved that holovid!" Uhura said from the back of the bridge.  
  
"Really?" Qwi said with excitement. "What did you think of that song?" The males on the bridge rolled their eyes at one another.  
  
Meanwhile, Toreth was storming off the turbolift towards the nearest airlock. She all but radiated fury, and any crewmember with half a brain (or whatever passed for a brain in their species) jumped out of the way... quickly.  
  
'How dare he take them and not me!?' she thought. 'I want so badly to meet Mirror Spock! I am the one in love here, people! Well, people and other species.' She reached the airlock and entered the first set of doors. Inside though, she sank to the ground and hugged her knees.  
  
'I cannot kill myself before I have reached Romulus!' Toreth though desperately. 'Oh light, now I am getting predictable. T'Son and Qwi know I will not really kill myself... so what do I do? Maybe I can replicate a dagger... Qwi did get pretty upset when I cut my wrist last time... and now I am feeling sorry for myself! Oh, shoot me."  
  
Later that day, Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Scotty, and the Trekkie Trio were all gathered in the transporter room.  
  
"Bye Toreth," Qwi said, hugging her. "See you on the other side." She winked.  
  
"See you on ISS," Toreth said, hugging her back. Despite all of his protests, she hugged T'Son too. "If you hate this, just think what I will do." She raised her eyebrows at him. He looked panicky while the Starfleeters looked confused. The six people stepped on the transporters and Toreth beamed them out. The moment they were gone, Toreth dropped her mask of calm, tears coming to her eyes.  
  
"...but I am the one in love..." Spock heard her whisper to herself.  
  
"Toreth?" he asked, a bit uncomfortable (though he would never admit that emotion) with the emotional teen.  
  
"Just remember, Spock, this is definitely not going to go as expected. Unless discovering new universes is what you thought would happen. I also have a few surprises of my own planned. Mirror, Mirror is definitely _not_ going to happen the way it should. Who gives a damn about the proper timeline!?"  
  
"Is something wrong?" Spock asked mildly. He raised his infamous eyebrow.  
  
"Things will be a lot more wrong soon," she said. With a smile that reminded him all too much of a Romulan plotting something, she walked out of the room.  
  
'That is one future chairman of the Tal Shiar,' Spock thought to himself, wondering if he should lock her in the brig. 


	12. Evil Toreth Squared

MySchemingMind: Sinisterness. Is that a word? Who cares, I like it! Yes, there is sinisterness on all sides. I think you have the wrond Spock though... read on to see what I mean!

Meakashi Gosterful: It will be quite interesting... hopefully all of your questions will be answered... someday.

Qwi13/ILuvHawkeye: I am glad you liked it. I am being evil, as usual, and you are agreeing with Nathan, as not so usual. Told you I was evil. LOL Sorry about not updating in forever, but at least you got your sneak peek!

Jack Sparrow fanatic: Actually, I asked Nathan what he wanted his name to be and he said T'Son. Not my fault. It is funny though... I will put more Spock in soon and I will try to update faster!

So sorry for not updating. I still have excuses though! Well... maybe. There was the five-week trip to Europe. And there was the move to Kansas. And both Dad's computer and mine crashed. And Microsoft Word is not yet set up on the new computer. I had to type this chapter on my laptop, praying it would not shut down in the middle of the chapter.This chapter is kind of a filler though- hopefully there will be some real action next chapter! Keep reading... if you have not already forgotten everything...

As any twenty-first century individual could have told the four Starfleeters, the Halkans refused to sell their dilithium crystals, and a storm came up as they were about to beam away.

"Everything is going according to the episode, right?" Qwi whispered to T'Son.

"I am not sure- Toreth has seen it more than either of us. But I think so," he whispered back.

"I hope Toreth keeps control of her temper long enough for both universes to get out of this alive," Qwi said.

"Knowing Toreth and seeing how she was unable to meet the mirror version of her 'one true love,' as she calls Spock, I somehow think something really, really bad is going to happen," T'Son said with worry. Qwi nodded, and neither of them noticed that they were doing the dreaded thing- agreeing with one another.

back on Enterprise

"I just knew that I should have paid attention instead of doodling in science," Toreth muttered darkly as she stormed down a random corridor. "I have less than twenty-six hours to get to the Mirror Universe and back, and meanwhile continue to wreak havoc on any universe."

"Did I hear someone mention wreaking havoc on the universes?" a disembodied voice asked.

"Q!" Toreth said with delight, suddenly a lot happier. "You are the answer to all my problems! Do you mind granting me just one more tiny favor?"

"What would you do if I said yes?" Q asked.

"Please, Q, stop joking. This is serious."

"Well, I can get you to the Mirror Universe easily, but there might be a few catches. I'm bored."

"I could not care less about catches. Just help, please!" The world dissolved around Toreth and she reappeared in one of the cargo bays of the ISS Enterprise. There was still one small problem though. Gravity seemed to have been reversed for her. Nervously, Toreth took a step forward. She remained on the ceiling. She tried jumped. It was exactly the same as though she was on the floor, except she was not on the floor. Muttering nonsense about the danger of bored Qs, Toreth set off for the transporter room.

Mirror Toreth was an average person, by the normal standards for her. Her nature was the same as Toreth's; it was merely circumstances that made them different. That was the way everyone was in the Mirror Universe. Mirror Spock, for example, still liked peace, as proven by the revolt he would lead, but he had been raised to duty and that called him to be violent. So when Mirror Toreth saw an upside-down version of herself come into the room, her only thoughts were using this to her advantage.

"Toreth..." Toreth began.

"Save it," Mirror Toreth said. "If you are here to take revenge on your versions of T'Son and Qwi, we can work together. If not, I will have to kill you."

"Oh good," Toreth said with a smile. She already liked her mirror self. "I will try to help you as best I can from up here. Apparently Q was bored." She smiled a little.

"I do not care why you are walking on the ceiling- it is irrelevant," Mirror Toreth said absent-mindedly. "Since you are me, you know that I work best alone, with no distractions. Go lure Spock in here somehow- I know you want to meet him anyway."

"Sorry for trying to help," Toreth muttered. Was that the way she appeared to other people? Maybe her parents had something with their millions of attitude talks...

on Halka

"Rachel Qwi East, why are you so impatient?" Dr. McCoy asked the fidgeting teenager.

"Actually, her middle name is G-" T'Son began.

"Do not say my middle name out loud. Please, _do not say my middle name out loud_," Qwi begged.

"Hmmm..."T'Son said. "No... Victoria." Qwi exhaled with relief. "Now if I were to say your _other_ middle name-" T'Son began anew.

"What is your other middle name?" Bones asked with interest. "Gretel? Gail? Gwyneth? Gertrude?"

A/N: Qwi, would mind if I actually revealed your other middle name sometime in the course of the story?

"Okay, children, we're beaming up now," Uhura said to the three of them. She looked like she was trying not to laugh. Bones muttered something about her use of the word "children" for him too, but T'Son and Qwi were too excited to notice. Any arguments or thoughts of Qwi's other middle name vanished in the wonder of finally going to the Mirror Universe.

"Toreth is going to be so jealous!" T'Son said, half with sadness that his best friend was not here, half with glee at the thought of holding it over her.

"T'Son!" Qwi said. "You are supposed to be her best friend! That was mean." She paused. "It might be funny if she does not blow us up when we get back though," she at last admitted.

"I fear for the safety of everything when Toreth is mad," T'Son agreed.

"Energize," Kirk said, and their worst fears turned out to be true. Mirror Spock was no where to be seen and the transporter room was dimmed with red alert lighting. Mirror Kyle looked up, terrified.

"I apologize for all the confusion, Captain, please do not torture me," he said.

"Why would I torture you?" Kirk asked, confused.

"Torture is a standard punishment on the ISS Enterprise..." Kyle said, still looking like he thought he was going to die in the next minute. He probably thought he was.

"ISS Enterprise? Where is Spock?" Kirk asked. Then he caught sight of the two teens, who were trying to hide their laughter. "And what do you two know?"

"Mr. Spock is missing, sir. So is Toreth."

"Oh shit," Qwi said.

"You cussed?" Toreth asked in surprise. "Oops, I was not supposed to let you know I was here." The seven people looked up to see Toreth lying on her back... on the ceiling.

"How did you get up there?" Bones asked. No sooner had he finished speaking than a whistle sounded.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk. A shuttle is leaving the Enterprise. On board are Mr. Spock and Toreth!"

"Toreth?" Scotty asked. The four USS Enterprise crewmembers and Mirror Kyle were more confused by the minute. "Toreth is right here!"

"Sir, something is-" a wave of static interfered- "tems. Weapons inoperative, transporters inoperative, c-" The voice was immediately cut off.

"Toreth, what are you doing?" Qwi asked.

"Actually, Mirror Toreth is doing. Of course, I have a job to play too." The lights went out.

"Much as a hate to admit it," Qwi's voice came out of the darkness, "you were right T'Son. Poor, poor universes."

Mirror Toreth smiled heartlessly from the shuttle. For her, an accomplished liar, it had not been hard to get Mirror Spock to aid her in her and Toreth's plans. All she had had to do was let him see Toreth and convince him that a strange species called "Founders" were taking the place of Enterprise crew members, officers, and passengers. Now Mirror Spock was disabling the ISS Enterprise from the shuttle and she was trying to configure the transporter so that she coudl beam Spock to the Mirror Universe. Toreth was not the only one who wanted to see the opposite side of her "true love!"

"Spock, if another version of you appears, he is probably a Founder coming to stop us from disabling the Enterprise," she said. "Let me handle him." Mirror Spock only nodded, intent on his task. After all, he believed that Mirror Toreth had escaped from a Founder prison and was coming back to save her ship.

The transporter came to life and Mirror Toreth sat back, pleased with her success. But instead of Spock appearing, a very familiar man in a TNG era uniform appeared. Q smiled, and Mirror Toreth realized that everything had just become _much_ more difficult.


	13. Q Messes Everything Up

ILuvHawkeye: I guess Data is not the only mind-reader here. You are not completely accurate, but close enough.

Data: Sorry it was confusing. I am glad you liked the gravity thing though! I hope this chapter helps clear things up. I intend for it to be really crazy though. And I am glad to be back too!

Wow, a fast update! Amazing! Microsoft Word is up, YES! Enjoy the madness below!

Mirror Qwi's two friends, like Qwi's two friends, teased her about not being the most intelligent one in their group. Well, Qwi and Mirror Qwi might not be able to do math brilliantly, but neither of them was completely stupid. As soon as Mirror Qwi solidified on the transporter of the ISS Enterprise, she ran. Having seen the episode Mirror, Mirror, she knew that Spock would capture the four officers and lock them in his brig. Spock looked after her in confusion. Mirror T'Son, seeing what she was doing, ran after her, kicking himself mentally for not thinking of that before Qwi did. He could not stand it if Qwi was better at anything than him.

"T'Son, we have to find Mirror Toreth," Mirror Qwi said. The normal Toreth was mirrored to her, after all.

"Do you think she would help us?" Mirror T'Son asked doubtfully.

"Remember what our Toreth was always saying? Our counterpart's natures are the same, like our Spock is going to lead a pacifist revolution if Qwi can't change his mind, but we have been raised differently so we act differently. And if our Toreth is any indicator, Mirror Toreth will be more than happy to help us." The two teens came upon a random blueshirt in the corridor.

"Do you know where Toreth is?" Mirror Qwi asked, trying her best to look sweet and innocent, and completely failing.

"You mean that Romulan kid? No clue," the man answered and walked on.

"Toreth is missing?" T'Son asked nervously. "This cannot be good." He was right, of course. Luckily, the two Toreth's plans were about to be completely messed up by none other than Q.

"Q!" Mirror Toreth cried, half in happiness, half in dismay.

"Actually, to you I would be Mirror Q. The Q you know is off... I think pestering Mon Capitaine."

"Je ne sais pas," Mirror Toreth answered, shrugging.

"You speak French? I did not know that! I never bothered to time travel back to your time- I prefer the eras of starships. Oh well. I told your darling counterpart that there would be a catch, so I am here to make good on that."

"Toreth, two Klingon shuttles are decloaking on either side of us. I have raised shields," Mirror Spock said.

"Oh, that's okay," Mirror Toreth said breezily. "They are just illusions." Suddenly the shuttle was rocked by a violent explosion and Q disappeared. "Oh damn," Mirror Toreth whispered.

From her vantage point on the ceiling of the bridge, Toreth listened with some amusement to the discussions of the ISS bridge officers. They were not that worried about the system failures, as they figured it was just a glitch. Now they were betting on the likelihood that the reason that shuttle was out there was because Mirror Toreth had finally convinced Mirror Spock to elope with her.

Some unnamed character was feverishly betting yes, while Sulu was just as feverishly betting no. So far the stakes were two months pay. The betting was interrupted, however, when to Klingon shuttles suddenly decloaked and started firing on the shuttle. Toreth's eyes widened with panic.

"Destroy those shuttles!" Sulu told Chekov, who immediately raised shields and began firing.

"Oh do not worry, Ma Cheri," a voice only Toreth could hear said. "I assume you speak French too. I will not kill Mirror Toreth or Mirror Spock, but I did say that I would make this very difficult for you."

'I was not planning on doing much,' Toreth thought furiously at Q. 'I just wanted to give everyone a really big scare, meet my true love's counterpart, and lock Qwi and T'Son in a turbolift together to get them back for leaving me behind.'

"Hmmm. That last part ought to be fun. I will help you do that," Q said. "What will you do if they end up friends again?"

'So you will stop this madness?' Toreth asked eagerly, looking at the poor Imperial shuttle on the viewscreen.

"Nah; this is fun," Q said. With that, Toreth was right-side-up again and everyone on the bridge was staring at her.

To T'Son's dismay, the turbolift carrying him and Qwi ground to a halt, halfway between two decks. Of all the people he would have chosen to be stuck in a turbolift with, Alicia was first and Toreth was second. Qwi was no where near the top.

"I thought Toreth was going to kill us for leaving her behind. This is much worse," T'Son groaned.

"Like I want to be stuck in a turbolift with you," Qwi said. "You are probably going to start reciting the subway lines of London again, or calling me by my other middle name, or singing Star Trekking in your annoying soprano voice."

"Good idea," T'Son said thoughtfully. Good thing I dedicated a half hour every night to memorizing the subway lines of London. Please mind the gap." He broke into laughter.

"Why? Why me? Why do I always say the wrong thing? Why?" Qwi muttered as T'Son began reciting the Circle Line to the tune of the song 'Think of Me' from The Phantom of the Opera.

Captain Kirk was very confused. There seemed to be something different about Kyle... something evil. In fact, that aura surrounded the transporter room. After the way they were dressed, the behavior of the three teenagers, the fact that there seemed to be two Toreths, and the system failures, something was not right. Also, Kirk was relatively certain that the true timeline was being completely and totally butchered.

"Jim, have you noticed anything weird?" McCoy muttered.

"You mean besides the obvious, Bones?" Kirk responded dryly. McCoy had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Um... this is the real Enterprise, right?" McCoy asked Mirror Kyle awkwardly. Mirror Kyle only gave him a strange look. "No one is going to jump out and yell, 'April Fool!' are they?" McCoy asked desperately.

"I do not think so..." Mirror Kyle said nervously.

"Do you know what is going on?" Kirk asked.

"I do not, Captain," Mirror Kyle said, even more nervous.

"It's Jim," Kirk said. "I am going to find someone who knows what is going on. Do any of you know where T'Son, Qwi, or especially Toreth are?"

"Now we've learned something. If there is a quadrant-wide war sometime in the near future, Toreth is probably behind it," McCoy said under his breath.

"I will take that as a no. Bones, come with me. Scott, Uhura, go search Engineering. We are headed to the bridge."

Toreth looked nervously around at all the ISS officers. Most of them were looking between the viewscreen and her in confusion, but she knew how violent these people could get. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she made note that she was still in a USS uniform. Therefore, she was very relieved when the door burst open to reveal Kirk and McCoy.

"Jim, Bones, you do not know how happy I am to see you," Toreth said with a smile, ignored the bridge crew's surprised looks that she would address the Captain so.

"Toreth, what is going on?" Kirk asked, not in a very good mood.

"Or not..." Toreth muttered. "Um, I was kind of mad at you for leaving me behind and my plan kind of got a wee bit out of hand?"

"Trust a Romulan to mess everything up," Bones said.

"Bones, now is not the time to make her madder," Kirk said. "What exactly is your going on now?"

"Mirror Toreth and Mirror Spock are being attacked by Q's Klingons, Qwi and T'Son are locked in a turbolift together, I have no idea where Scotty and Uhura are, and I have no idea what is happening on the USS Enterprise."

"Mirror you? What? If we are not on the Enterprise, where are we?"

"We are on the Enterprise... maybe I had better explain." Various crewmembers nodded. Toreth cursed Q's name- or letter, as the case was- and began to tell her story. Meanwhile, chaos reigned on both Enterprises, and one omnipotent being was laughing his head off from his vantage point in the Gamma Quadrant.


	14. The End of the Game

ILuvHawkeye: Never in a million years would I force you and Nathan to be friends... at least not in this fanfic. evil grin And sorry, you do not get to strangle him either.

T'Son: Did I put that you beat me at chess in the story? Thank you for [finally] joining FFN and reading my story!

MedStudent: Thank you. Weird is a wonderful compliment. And people back in the '60s made better TV shows than they do now. Star Trek is one of the only TV shows I can stand. I just like it better.

I believe that this is the second-to-last chapter. Do not get your tissues out yet- there is a sequel planned. I think I am going to called it "The Trio Broken" so look for it when this is finished!

Mirror T'Son walked confidently onto the bridge of the USS Enterprise, followed by Mirror Qwi. Mirror T'Son gazed at the planet, seeing none of its beauty, but only wishing he had some of those special Nathan-ized quantum torpedoes he invented for a Star Trek fanfiction back in the twenty-first century. After all, he was part of an evil universe, and he hung out with Mirror Toreth.

"I like the Excelsior-class bridge better," Mirror T'Son remarked as he looked around at the USS bridge. It looked pretty much the same as the ISS bridge. The sword-and-globe symbol, however, was nowhere to be found. Instead there was a strange A-like shape with a star in the middle. That had to be the symbol of their "Starfleet."

"You like the Excelsior better than anything except the Sovereign. And don't talk about such things in front of these imbeciles," Mirror Qwi whispered.

"True," Mirror T'Son said.

"Goddess, he agreed with me!" Mirror Qwi murmured in surprise.

"I agree with you sometimes, Gwyneth," Mirror T'Son said with a grin, walking towards the center chair. A moment later he was knocked over by a phaser in Mirror Qwi's hands. Not to be outdone, he rolled over and fired back.

"Security to bridge. We hawe a wery big problem," Chekov said. A moment later, Spock and three security officers stepped onto the bridge. Neither Mirror Qwi nor Mirror T'Son noticed. Mirror T'Son was too busy copying Valeris, though he knew Mirror Toreth would kill him because she wanted to be Valeris (though less than she wanted to be the Empress of Romulus or the Chairman of the Tal Shiar).

"Like this?" Mirror T'Son asked with a grin, raising his phaser. Suddenly, it was snatched from his grip.

"I do not know who you six are, nor do I know what you have done with our crewmembers, but this brutality cannot continue," Spock said disapprovingly. He was holding a struggling Mirror Qwi and a random redshirt had Mirror T'Son's phaser and was pointing it at him. Mirror T'Son knew, however, that he could not let himself be locked in the brig. As he was preparing his plan, a disembodied voice spoke.

"Okay, the game is over. This is getting too dangerous for humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons." As everyone on the bridge watching open-mouthed surprise, Spock, Mirror T'Son, and Mirror Qwi all vanished off the bridge.

Mirror Toreth had forgotten the transporter. She was fighting a losing battle just to stay in her seat. Mirror Spock rolled their shuttle under a Klingon shuttle and she desperately tried to aim the phasers to penetrate it. They only grazed its hull.

"Mirror Q, you are going to kill us!" she screamed in panic. The Klingon shuttles were circa 2350 shuttles and the ISS shuttle was no match for them.

"Who is this 'Q' I so often hear you and the other members of your "Trekkie Trio" talking about? Is this 'Q' the same one who changed your species?"

"Spock, now is no time to be logical and calm," Mirror Toreth said through clenched teeth.

"On the contrary, there is always a logical solution to problems. One must not allow panic, which is a form of emotion, to interfere." Mirror Toreth was in such a bad mood, she did not even realize she was arguing with her "true love."

"And if that solution is our capture by Klingons?"

"More likely it will be death."

"I like death!" Mirror Toreth had no time to say anything more. A disembodied voice spoke.

"Okay, the game is over. This is getting too dangerous for humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons." With that, Mirror Toreth and Mirror Spock vanished from the shuttle.

Mirror Kirk and Mirror Bones searched the USS brig for a way out, finding none. Mirror Scotty was attempting to build some sort of scientific thing that could blast through the walls from whatever loose metal he could find. Mirror Uhura was watching him.

"Och, I could work better were there a mad Vulcan capturing us and I had to get my ship back from him!" Mirror Scotty moaned.

"Mad Vulcan? I highly doubt that will ever happen," Mirror Uhura said dryly. Mirror Scotty glared at her. Neither of them had anytime to get further though, for suddenly a disembodied voice spoke.

"Okay, the game is over. This is getting too dangerous for humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons." The four people disappeared without a trace.

Scotty and Uhura were trying to get through Engineering unnoticed. Of course, everyone immediately saw them.

"Mr. Scott!" a lieutenant j.g. called. "We have the phasers in prime condition. Whenever the captain is ready, he can start firing on Halka."

"What would ye want to do that for?" Scotty asked. "Has the Captain lost his mind?"

"Scott..." Uhura hissed in a warning tone. His gave an embarrassed smile and nod, but before either he or Uhura could make any further mess-ups, a disembodied voice spoke.

"Okay, the game is over. This is getting too dangerous for humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons." Before the confused engineer's eyes, the two vanished, and everyone watched them go.

Toreth's eyes were fixed on the viewscreen as she told the tale of the Mirror Universes. Kirk and McCoy seemed to actually be beginning to believe her, though she was not sure. She sincerely hoped that they were. If Toreth failed to convince them, well, everyone in the room probably had some reason to want her executed. Then the ISS shuttle exploded.

"Spock!" Toreth cried, leaping up, her eyes wide in fear. Tears leaked out of them and splashed to the ground, unheeded. "Q! You will pay, you horrible-"

"Du calme, Imperatrice. C'est pas vraiment grave," Q's voice sounded.

"Flattery and French will get you nowhere. You killed the mirror of my one true love, for whom I would have given up just about anything, excepting things like the Romulan Star Empire. How can I but be furious and wish to avenge my destroyed Mirror love?" Toreth said, unconsciously slipping into ways of talking from her SF/F books.

"No need to be so aggravated. You will soon join him."

"Good. I am in love with death."

"I am not going to kill you."

"You mean the evil Klingons captured him!? You veruul, you-"

"Okay, the game is over. This is getting too dangerous for humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons." With that, Toreth, Kirk, and McCoy vanished, leaving the poor bridge crew of the ISS wondering when their universe had first started turning upside down.

"Please, dear God, I am your daughter, and I endeavor to be a good Christian. Please send some sort of miracle to save me from being trapped in a turbolift with T'Son. Also, forgive Toreth and Q, because I do not think I will be able to for a long time. Amen." Qwi looked up. T'Son had not even noticed, as he was currently in the middle of explaining the thirty-ninth deck of his imaginary USS Royale C... in details only a Vulcan would notice.

This had, of course, been going on for thirty-eight decks. T'Son was so deep into his imaginings that she suspected she could have gotten drunk and danced around in the arms of Barney the Purple Dinosaur and he would not have noticed. She did not know how Toreth could stand him. The fact that that insane Romulan had even once loved him was completely out of the question. A/N: Happy, Qwi?

"... and in the metal is a small depression, about .00000349863 millimeters deep, while someone messed up. He or she or it was definitely not a Vulcan! The door next to that-" Both of them jumped when a disembodied voice rang out.

"Okay, the game is over. This is getting too dangerous for humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons." Qwi only had time to think a heart-felt thanks to God for his mercy before she and T'Son disappeared.

Kirk, Mirror Kirk, Spock, Mirror Spock, McCoy, Mirror McCoy, Scotty, Mirror Scotty, Uhura, Mirror Uhura, Toreth, Mirror Toreth, T'Son, Mirror T'Son, Qwi, and Mirror Qwi all found themselves in a small grassy amphitheatre in Kansas. Only Toreth and Mirror Toreth recognized it.

"I have come to tell you," Q's voice shouted from the stage, "that Toreth's game has officially ended!"


	15. The Not So Happily Ever After

ILuvHawkeye: No, I did not mean you, I meant me! Just in case though, I rewrote it in a bit of a clearer manner. Sorry about that!

All the mirror people are probably way OOC, sorry! I did not think this chapter out carefully because I wanted to hurry up and post it so I could start TTB. Look for it tomorrow or Saturday! This chapter is also shorter- sorry!

There was absolute silence in the Kansas amphitheatre for precisely 6.29754839075 seconds according to both Spocks. Then the poor, innocent place exploded.

"Spock! You live!" Toreth screeched excitedly upon seeing Mirror Spock.

"Spock! At last, the mirror version of my love, I meet you!" Mirror Toreth screeched excitedly upon seeing Spock.

"How dare you Captain-nap me off my own ship!?" Mirror Kirk cried to Q, reaching for his phaser.

"Look, I am looking me in the eye," Mirror Qwi said, staring at Qwi.

"Toreths, you are being so illogical," T'Son said.

"Maybe Toreth had a point when she got all those crop tops..." Uhura murmured, able to look at herself without a mirror in the ISS uniform.

"Toreth's game? Why does Toreth always get the spotlight?" Qwi asked with irritation.

"Silence!" Q shouted, using his omnipotentcy (no, that is not a word) to make it so. "Let me think... Toreths, your evil plan has gone far enough, you all got to meet each other anyway, ask and member of the two Trekkie Trios what is going on is you are confused, and free cake is on the first seat in the front row."

"What does free cake have to do with light?" Mirror Toreth asked, giving Q a strange look.

"Well, Dr. McCoy was hungry," Q said. Bones' eyes widened in surprise.

"I do not understand what has transpired," Mirror Spock said. "Toreth, please explain."

"Well, it started with Toreth and I resenting being left behind..." Mirror Toreth began.

"...we wanted to get revenge..." Toreth said.

"... do evil..."

"... toss a few idiots out of airlocks..."

"... so we asked Q for help..."

"but his plan was sort of different from ours..."

"... so everything turned chaotic..."

"... even for the two of us..."

"... and you should never, ever let an omnipotent being get bored!" Mirror Toreth finished with a dramatic sweep of her hand.

"Say no more," T'Son said with a shudder. "Two angry Toreths and a bored Q... no wonder."

"Where are we anyway?" Mirror Qwi asked.

"We are in the outdoor amphitheatre of the school Toreth would have gone to in Kansas had she not come to the future instead," Q answered.

"Wait... why would I go to school in Kansas?" Toreth asked.

"Because you would have moved there," Q answered, "because your Mom got an excellent job offer."

"I am so happy I came to the future," Mirror Toreth said. "Kansas... urgh! Way too flat." The other five teenagers nodded in solemn agreement, probably the first and last time these six would ever all agree. After all, they had all lived all their lives in the same state, North Carolina, albeit different versions.

"Well then, let's stop talking about it and eat cake! There was no harm done, Toreths. But if you two are to stay in the UFP or whatever form of government you other people have, you need to behave less like unpredictable Romulans," Kirk said.

"But Mirror Jim, we are unpredictable Romulans," Mirror Toreth said innocently, causing both T'Sons to burst into laughter.

There, under the way too hot sun of twenty-first century-ish Kansas, for the first time, beings and their mirrors got along. Even the Imperial version dropped there hostility... for the most part. Mirror Toreth won the last piece of cake by pulling a dagger on Mirror Kirk, but Mirror T'Son snatched it off the plate before either of them could grab it. The mirror teenagers were not as evil as the adults yet, aside from Toreth, so they settled to exchange differences and similarities with their counterparts.

"It is too quiet," Mirror T'Son once said in a lull in conversation. "Can we put on some rap?"

"You like_ rap_?" Qwi asked in shock.

"All three of us do..." Mirror Toreth said slowly, as though talking to a three-year-old.

"We detest it," Qwi said. "No wonder you guys are evil..." She shuddered and exchanged a glance with Toreth.

At last though, the party came to an end. Toreth complained that it was much too happy an end, but even she had liked the party. She said it was probably second in her list of parties only to the Thanksgiving celebration at school, 2003.

"At least you did not eat T'Son's _ABC_ gum this time," Qwi mumbled it.

"You did? Why didn't I think of that in my universe?" Mirror Toreth asked in shock and jealously.

"Why did you have to remind me?" T'Son asked.

"It was to prove a point," said Toreth, going red. "Besides... it tasted good."

"Ew!" came the response from everyone except Mirror Toreth.

En fin, little white lights flashed and everyone was returned to his or her proper universe. All parties, for once, were happy, though Mirror Toreth darkly vowed that it would not last long. After all, in real life, there was no happily ever after. It might have seemed like, but the Trekkie Trios still had lives ahead of them- lives to live out their fantasies or nightmares in. No ending was really an ending.

"Ah, things can finally get back to normal!" Uhura said happily, stepping off the USS transporter.

"Normal is not a word in our vocabularies," T'Son informed her.

"We tease each other, tell horrible jokes, try to kill each other, laugh, annoy each other, and in the meantime, turn the real world on its ear!" Toreth laughed.

"And Toreth, you are not the only one allowed to tell nasty jokes," Qwi said with a smile. She looked from Toreth to T'Son. "I think the only reason you really stole his gum was because you knew he would never kiss you and getting his saliva was the next best thing."

"Qwi!!!!!!!" Toreth screamed. She let loose a string of curses in a variety of languages. "I am in love with Spock now that he is within reach, not T'Son you foul-" She pulled out her phaser and chased Qwi down a corridor, T'Son following her.

"You call this normal?" Bones asked Uhura in shock.

"One thing is for certain- nothing on this ship will ever be the sane, I mean, same again," Kirk said.

The End (at least until the sequel)


End file.
